Saturday, August 12, 2006

Out of the rat race, at least for a moment.

Well, I'm taking a little break from work and life at the coast. I'm here in beautiful Morro Bay, CA, (known where I'm from as the Portagee Riviera) enjoying the cool weather and good seafood and steaks. I'll be doing a little shopping, too. I'll get back to my regular life in a few days.

Thursday, August 10, 2006

Spandex is a privilege, not a right


It's time to change your wardrobe. Wearing clothes that are 3 sizes too small is disgusting, no matter what size you are. Buy clothes that fit. Seeing your tits squeezing over the top of your bra is not sexy. Seeing the crack of your ass is not sexy. Seeing the stretch marks on your belly and love handles from the half-dozen kids you have in tow is not sexy.

Guys, same thing goes for you. If you have to pull your pants up all the time, buy a belt, or get them in the right size. If you are a 5' 6" and 120# guy, those 40" pants and XXXL shirts are the WRONG size. Remember, that baggy clothes thing comes from prison, where they don't always have clothes that fit you when you are in-processed. Another note: In prison, when you wear your pants with your chonies showing, it means you're looking to be someone's bitch. Whose bitch do you want to be?

Speaking of kids, how tough is it to make sure that they are in clean clothes with clean faces when you take them out in public. It's not that hard to keep a packet of wipes in your purse with all of the other crap. It's not that hard to make sure that the laundry is actually clean before you put it away. Remember, follow the instructions on the washer, and don't overload it to make sure you get all the dirt out. Soap and bleach are cheap, especially when you go to the 99 cent store to buy it.

Don't look filthy, don't act filthy, and you won't get treated like shit.

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

An open letter to the Dixie Chicks

Dear Dixie Chicks:
I heard on the news today that you are having to cancel many of your tour dates because of slow ticket sales. Sorry to hear that. Not really. You made your bed when you pissed off your fan base by making comments about our president. It really wasn't just that, but the fact that you went offshore to make the statement. You didn't have the ovaries to make the comment here in the US because you knew what kind of reaction you would get.

Then you go and cut another album, and the first released single is "Not Ready to Make Nice". Maybe you should have rethought that. Until you actually do go and make nice, you can expect to have the same kind of album sales and show ticket sales here in the US. In fact, you might as well take your act to Montreal, and set up shop there, since they really like you and your politics there.

I'd recommend that you take your cues from Toby Keith: "We'll put a boot in your ass, it's the American Way..."

Sincerely, Smokey