Smokey's Den

A reading list for the Occupiers

2011-10-17T11:46:00.000-07:00

Since most of the people in the Occupy movement have plenty of time on their hands when not sexually assaulting other occupiers, threatening members of the media, or throwing rocks and bottles at the police, I thought that I'd give them some books to read while they are eating their organic chicken ragout and beet & endive salads:

Lord of the Flies by William Golding - William Golding's classic tale about a group of English schoolboys who
are plane-wrecked on a deserted island is just as chilling and relevant
today as when it was first published in 1954. At first, the stranded
boys cooperate, attempting to gather food, make shelters, and maintain
signal fires. Overseeing their efforts are Ralph, "the boy with fair
hair," and Piggy, Ralph's chubby, wisdom-dispensing sidekick whose
thick spectacles come in handy for lighting fires. Although Ralph tries
to impose order and delegate responsibility, there are many in their
number who would rather swim, play, or hunt the island's wild pig
population. Soon Ralph's rules are being ignored or challenged
outright. His fiercest antagonist is Jack, the redheaded leader of the
pig hunters, who manages to lure away many of the boys to join his band
of painted savages. The situation deteriorates as the trappings of
civilization continue to fall away, until Ralph discovers that instead
of being hunters, he and Piggy have become the hunted: "He forgot his
words, his hunger and thirst, and became fear; hopeless fear on flying
feet." Golding's gripping novel explores the boundary between human
reason and animal instinct, all on the brutal playing field of
adolescent competition. --Jennifer Hubert

Animal Farm by George Orwell - Fueled by Orwell's intense disillusionment with Soviet Communism, Animal Farm
is a nearly perfect piece of writing, both an engaging story and an
allegory that actually works. When the downtrodden beasts of Manor Farm
oust their drunken human master and take over management of the land,
all are awash in collectivist zeal. Everyone willingly works overtime,
productivity soars, and for one brief, glorious season, every belly is
full. The animals' Seven Commandment credo is painted in big white
letters on the barn. All animals are equal. No animal shall drink
alcohol, wear clothes, sleep in a bed, or kill a fellow four-footed
creature. Those that go upon four legs or wings are friends and the
two-legged are, by definition, the enemy. Too soon, however, the pigs,
who have styled themselves leaders by virtue of their intelligence,
succumb to the temptations of privilege and power. "We pigs are
brainworkers. The whole management and organisation of the farm depend
on us. Day and night, we are watching over your welfare. It is for your
sake that we drink that milk and eat those apples." While this
swinish brotherhood sells out the revolution, cynically editing the
Seven Commandments to excuse their violence and greed, the common
animals are once again left hungry and exhausted, no better off than in
the days when humans ran the farm. Satire Animal Farm may be,
but it's a stony reader who remains unmoved when the stalwart
workhorse, Boxer, having given his all to his comrades, is sold to the
glue factory to buy booze for the pigs. Orwell's view of Communism is
bleak indeed, but given the history of the Russian people since 1917,
his pessimism has an air of prophecy. --Joyce Thompson

Capitalism and Freedom by Milton Friedman - How can we benefit from the promise of government while avoiding the
threat it poses to individual freedom? In this classic book, Milton
Friedman provides the definitive statement of his immensely influential
economic philosophy—one in which competitive capitalism serves as both a
device for achieving economic freedom and a necessary condition for
political freedom. The result is an accessible text that has sold well
over half a million copies in English, has been translated into eighteen
languages, and shows every sign of becoming more and more influential
as time goes on. (From the inside flap of the 40th Anniversary edition.) Heck, anything by Milton Friedman should be required reading.

Gangster Government by David Freddoso -

“GANGSTER GOVERNMENT”
Columnist Michael Barone invented the phrase.
President Obama has perfected the practice.

And in this new and stunning book, New York Times best-selling author David Freddoso (The Case Against Barack Obama)
provides the much-needed exposé of an administration that has brought
Chicago-style corruption and strong-arm politics to Washington, looking
to reward its friends (the unions, federal workers, and other liberal
interest groups) and punish its enemies (the private sector workers and
taxpayers who foot the bill for Obama¹s massive expansion of the federal
government).

In Gangster Government you'll learn, among other shocking revelations:

How
the Obama administration has used “czars” and “recess appointments” to
install powerful bureaucrats, some with extreme views and shady pasts,
without congressional oversight
How the Obama administration ignored
the Constitution and reversed 100 years of bankruptcy law to reward its
friends (the United Autoworkers) in the GM and Chrysler bailout
Why even the pretense of “cutting costs” in Obamacare came second to rewarding the Democrat-supporting trial lawyers' lobby
Why,
ignoring federal law, the Obama administration is trying to shield the
TSA workers who search passengers at airports from private sector
competition
How the trillion dollar "stimulus" was directed overwhelmingly at protecting government workers supported by the taxpayers
Why “green jobs” are all about shaking down the taxpayer for favored businesses—not about truly “sustainable” energy or jobs
How
the Obama administration bullies private businesses and even state
governments that don't cooperate with gangster government

Gangster Government
is a devastating and revealing look at the momentous first two years of
the Obama administration and its subversion of our Constitution and
laws. It casts a hard look at a president whose training on Chicago’s
political playground shines through every bent law and every broken
promise. (description from Amazon)

A Presidency in Peril by Robert Kuttner - When Barack Obama took office in January 2009, he had an unprecedented
chance to do what no other recent president could: seize the nation's
financial reins from the corporate elite and return them to the American
people. Progressives everywhere held out hope that their new leader
would take advantage of the economic crisis he stepped into and enact
bold policies that would evoke real financial reforms-putting Main
Street in front of Wall Street, at last. But that, writes Robert
Kuttner, is not the way things turned out. Instead, America's best
chance for radical financial reform turned into Wall Street's greatest
victory. Obama filled his administration with allies of financial elites
who were more interested in business as usual than in transformative
change. As a consequence, Main Street remained mired in deep recession.
Instead of being the instrument of economic renewal, Obama became the
target of economic frustration. In this hard-hitting, incisive
account, Kuttner shares his unique, insider view of how the Obama
administration not only missed its moment to turn our economy around-but
deepened Wall Street's risky grip on America's future. Carefully
constructing a one-year history of the problem, the players, and the
outcome, Kuttner gives readers an unparalleled account of the
president's first year.More importantly, though, Kuttner shows how we could-with swift, decisive action-still enact real reforms.This
is a book not to be missed by anyone who wants to understand exactly
how Wall Street won, and how Main Street can still fight back. (Description from Amazon)

Power Grab by Christopher Horner - Barack Obama’s “Green” Policies Start With Controlling Your Energy…and End With Your Life.

If
Obama and his “green” coalition get their way, we’re headed for
blackouts, skyrocketing energy prices designed to bankrupt disfavored
industries, and even greater government control of our economy. Obama’s
green jobs agenda masks a declaration of war against America’s most
reliable sources of energy—coal, oil, and natural gas. He seeks to shut
them down and convert America to green energy—mostly wind and solar—in
an irresponsible experiment that will guarantee an energy crisis and
drive America from recession to depression. The Obama administration,
working in collusion with green groups allegedly protecting the
environment, unions protecting their paychecks, and local elites
protecting their ocean views, is putting the special interests ahead of
your interests. In Power Grab, best-selling author Christopher C. Horner reveals,

How
Obama is obsessed with “climate change” schemes at huge expense to our
economy—even as the scientific case for global warming is collapsing.
How
Obama is counting on the liberal courts to gain greater control over
American industry How Obama’s “green jobs” policies are stripping jobs
from America and sending them overseas.
How Obama’s policies, if enacted,
will dramatically change your life—starting with your confidence that a
flipped switch will provide light, that a faucet will flow with water,
that your home will stay warm, and there’s gas at the pump.

(from inside flap)

Okay, this should take you a few days. You can find these at your local library, which is free, and we know how you like free.

DO NOT GET MINECRAFT!

2011-10-13T22:03:00.001-07:00

That damned game is the most addictive thing I've played lately. I've got 3 different worlds going, and it's "funner'n hell" (funner than hell for you people that don't watch Squidbillies). One of the worlds kind of sucks, though, because it's almost all below the water, and no animals have spawned, so I have to look for shrooms.

Okay, I'm off to play for a few minutes before I have to go to bed.

Twinkles?

2011-10-13T14:50:00.001-07:00

Just when you thought that the OccupyWhatever movement couldn't get any loopier comes this:

I say "Down Twinkles" to all these nutjobs. Are "jazz hands" next? When are the protesters going to go Full Mackie and start singing showtunes and presenting musicals in the parks?

You are not the 99% - try 52%

2011-10-11T14:41:00.001-07:00

All of these protesters are driving me batshit with their illogic. They claim to want fairness and equity, while screaming for the heads of the "1%". Here's some cold hard facts for you:

The "1%" pay (roughly) 40% of the income taxes that the FedGov takes in.
The next 52% pay the remaining ~60% of the income taxes.

The bottom 47% pay NOTHING in taxes, or get MORE than what they paid into the system.

In order to achieve true fairness, everyone must have some skin in the game. Everyone must pay something in taxes, and so far, only Herman Cain's 9-9-9 plan, or the Fair Tax plan do that. No more zero-liability voters.

Jury Duty: Prologue

2011-09-19T09:11:00.000-07:00

I spent most of last week in jury selection as a potential juror. The first day was all of the hardship cases, so they had one pool in the morning, and another pool in the afternoon to get enough potential jurors for the trial. Since I didn't have a hardship, I was asked to come back the next day. The next day began the actual jury selection with the consolidated pools starting at 10AM. The selection went all day with anyone having an association with Law Enforcement getting thrown off. At the end of the day, there were still 3 of the 12 to be chosen, so we had to come back the next day. Nearing lunch time on Day Three, I thought that I might actually escape without having to serve, but my name was called and I was seated, and went through the voir dire with 2 other potential jurors. The court broke for lunch, and I was sure that I would be excused in the afternoon. By the end of the day the full jury, plus 3 alternates was selected and sworn, and I was then "Juror Number 2" for the duration of the trial.

Holiday rant

2010-12-11T12:14:00.001-08:00

Once again, the Politically Correct scream and howl about the lack of "Diversity" in the End-of-Year holiday season. As if it's not enough that there's Christmas for the Christians; Hanukkah (or however you choose to spell it) for the Jews; Yule for the Druids, Pagans, and Wiccans; Kwanzaa for the Black Liberation Theologians; and Festivus, for the rest of us (well, at least the Seinfeld fans).

If I don't see at least one story each day during Advent (that's the 24 days before Christmas for all you non-Catholic and non-Episcopal types) that some group somewhere is complaining about one of the many traditions (Carols, Trees, Nativity Scenes (or Creche, if you prefer), Menorah, etc.), I wonder if the media, the ACLU, or the SPLC are asleep.

Gee, for the people that preach tolerance and acceptance as their sole (almost put soul, could I be more correct with that?) purpose in life, They are the most intolerant people I've ever seen.

Pragmatism at its finest

2010-10-29T09:37:00.000-07:00

I read a lot of blogs, especially MilBlogs, and every once in a while something catches my eye that condenses a situation down and distills it into a most potent elixir of understanding.

From Free Range International comes this:

I wanted to talk about fighting and tactics; Dave wanted to talk about the value added chain and time horizons. ”The main problem we face here is that the poppy has a value added chain. A farmer is given the seed, he is given the fertilizer – poppy doesn’t take much water or care while growing – and at harvest time he is given guys who score the flowers and collect the dope. At the end of the season he is given a portion of the harvest to sell or barter. The dope is then moved, processed and smuggled out of the country. Poppy has a well established added value chain which provides employment for lots of people while making life easy for the farmer. It costs him little to grow and doesn’t take much work. We want to sell him seed and fertilizer for a crop which is difficult to grow and much more susceptible to failure due to bad weather, floods and insects. We want him to harvest it and want him to take it to market and sell it. There are no value added processes to employ other people. There is no cold storage, no food processing plants, no grain elevators, no good roads, and no teamsters to truck produce using economies of scale. What would you do if you were a farmer in southern Helmand?”

It's been this way since we went into The 'Stan, and here we are 9 years later, and nothing's changed. This is the same thing that we face here in the US with Mexican drug gangs. It's far more profitable for the cartels to buy everything for the farmer, and give him some of the profits. It's like leasing the land, and giving the farmer a bonus for doing next to nothing.

The profit motive MUST be taken out of the drug trade. Increasing penalties for possession and sales aren't working any more.

Fun with books

2010-10-29T09:29:00.000-07:00

Working at a library, you begin to get immersed into the world of books and librarians, and you begin to see that you have either one of 2 types of librarians: The cold, bitter, emotionless ones who probably retreated into books to get away from their real lives; or the ones that are wild and crazy, and aren't afraid to show it.

The latter aspect is found in this blog: http://onceuponatitle.blogspot.com/ Remember, these are childrens' titles they're using...

Another is at http://www.thisintothat.com Less of a library thing, but more of a book thing.

GTFO

2010-08-01T16:06:00.000-07:00

If you are in this country without the proper documentation, if you entered the country at a location other than an authorized entry point, or if you have overstayed your visa; get the fuck out. You do not belong here. You are breaking the law.

Don't demand equal treatment. Don't demand anything, including a free ride home. The only thing you deserve is to be arrested, fined and deported. You're lucky if you don't get repatriated from 10000 feet at 250 knots.

If you're a criminal alien, whether you've committed the crimes in your home country, or here in the US, be lucky that we don't just dump your carcass in a ditch and charge your family for the bullet.

You want citizenship? Go back to your home country and apply for it. Don't disrespect the millions of people that have come here before you, following the rules.

Don't think that if you drop an anchor baby, you're going to stay. If I had it my way, you, and your little brat would both be deported, no matter his age. Because you're here illegally, there is no citizenship bestowed on your spawn, even if he was born on US soil. If a child born to an American on foreign soil doesn't get citizenship from that foreign country, then you shouldn't get it because your child was born here, either.

If I was elected President, I'd issue the following Executive Order:

A double-layer fence is to be built from the Pacific Ocean in California along the US-Mexico border to the Gulf of Mexico in Texas. The Army Corps of Engineers, the Navy Seabees, and the Air Force CE squadrons will all be tasked to complete this wall within 180 days. Once the fence along the Southern border is completed, the same fence shall be built along the northern border from the Pacific Ocean in Washington to Lake Superior in Minnesota, and from the St. Lawrence Seaway in New York to the Atlantic Ocean in Maine. This shall be completed within 18 months after the completion of the Southern Border Fence.

The specifications are to be as follows: Two 12' fences made of chain link fencing topped with 3 coils of razor ribbon, with not less than 3 coils of razor ribbon on the inside face spaced equally apart. This fence shall be supported by 25' long high-tensile steel pipe filled with concrete aggregate, spaced no more than 6' apart. The distance between the fences shall be no less than 25'. Between the fences shall be a concrete-lined trench with a depth no less than 12' and a width no less than 12'. The sides shall have an angle of no more than 30 degrees from vertical.

There shall be a vehicle access gate and ramp every mile on the US side only. Next to every vehicle access gate, there shall be an intercommunications system that shall be monitored by the nearest CBP/ICE communications center in case of emergencies. There shall be a video surveillance system installed to monitor this fence system, with a motion-activated alarm. This motion activation shall be calibrated to a human-sized target, in order to prevent false activation from non-human targets.

All illegal aliens shall have a 90-day grace period to leave the country of their own accord. They will not be prevented from leaving by any law enforcement agent, unless they have committed additional crimes while in the US. They may present themselves at any port of entry for priority processing if they choose to become a US citizen in the future. Any US non-minor citizen that would like to give up their citizenship and leave the US for another country will be given a $50,000 grant to assist with their exit.

After this 90-day race period, any illegal alien found within the United States shall be declared an outlaw, and shall not be afforded any protections of the laws of the United States or any of the several States or the jurisdictions therein. Any US Citizen apprehending an illegal alien shall be given a $10000 reward upon the conviction and deportation of said illegal alien. Any illegal aliens that are found to have committed crimes in the United States are to be sentenced to a minimum of 20 years of hard labor in a Federal Penitentiary in addition to any penalty for the crimes they have committed. Any illegal alien deported after the 90-day period shall not be allowed entry for 10 years from the date of deportation if the alien has committed a crime other than unlawful entry or unlawful presence. If the illegal alien has committed any other crimes, then he shall not be allowed entry into the US for a period no less than 20 years.

Any person, group, entity, or governmental jurisdiction found to be aiding, abetting, providing material support to, harboring, or otherwise providing assistance to illegal aliens, other than assisting the illegal aliens in their self-removal shall be fined no less than $10000 per occurrence. Any government agency found in violation of the above law shall lose all funding from the Federal Government, and shall be ineligible from receiving any funding from the Federal Government for a period of 5 years from the date of adjudication.

Any aliens admitted after the 90-day period must prove that they are self-sufficient, and have total assets of greater than 100 times the annual gross minimum wage income, or cash or cash equivalent of 20 times the gross annual minimum wage; or have a sponsor that meets those requirements. The admitted alien must prove that he is of good moral and physical character. The admitted alien and his directly related family shall not be eligible for any public assistance programs for a period of 10 years from the date of admission. The admitted alien shall not participate in any action against any level of government. The admitted alien shall not become a member of any organized labor union unless that membership is a specific requirement for employment.
If an admitted alien commits a crime during the first 10 years after admission, then he shall be immediately deported after serving his sentence, and shall not be allowed admission again.

Any alien found to have reentered the US during the prohibited period after deportation shall be imprisoned in a federal penitentiary for the remainder of the prohibited period. The alien shall be required to work for the prison industry during this time. Any refusal to work shall add to the imprisonment on a day-for-day basis. At the end of this imprisonment, the alien shall be deported and shall be prohibited from entry for an additional 10 years from the date of deportation.

Pretty damned simple, isn't it? Don't you wish that all laws could be written that simply?

Simple stuff

2010-06-03T14:24:00.000-07:00

As a support geek, I'm sure that I've asked the same questions over and over.

Did you exit the program, start it back up and log back in to it?
Did you log off your profile, log back in and restart the program?
Did you reboot?
Is the $hardware plugged into power, turned on, and is the network activity light blinking?

If you haven't done or checked the above things and you're calling, we're going to have you do the above and call us back if it doesn't work. I know it's stupid to have to say the same things over and over, but sometimes, the users forget. We don't have flip charts. We've just encountered the same issues over and over that we know what the problem is, and we'll either walk you through the solution, or we'll remote in to your machine and fix it ourselves. That might include logging you off and logging into the Admin profile, or it might be that we want you to stay logged in, because it's something with your profile. We'll do the best we can with what we've got.

Another fsck up by the high dollar guys. (language warning)

2010-05-07T21:52:00.001-07:00

This is the 3rd time in a month that the lead or the #2 have fucked something up that I've had to fix.

The first time was when the NSE was installing a full set of new LAN and WAN hardware. A new router and 2 switches, and about 75% was working right when I got there. I had to repatch ports, and re-IP 4 computers because the VLANs were all fucked up on the switches. Plus, the ITA (the lead) couldn't see one of the switches through the management program, so he couldn't do anything on it.

The second time was when the NSE went back to fix the port assignments, and didn't reverse what I had done, even though I told him exactly what I had done.

This time, the ITA and one of the other ITSTs came in early to do the "printer shuffle". They moved 4 printers around, and about 6 hours after they got them installed, they failed. Well, the printers themselves didn't fail, but all the computers pointed at them failed to print to them. First it was the public printers on the print server. The fucking HP_DIU ports that get installed when you install an HP network printer decided to take a total shit. It's not as if they didn't know it was going to happen, because it's done it before.

It's not just one printer, though. There's 2 different physical printers attached to the server between the 2 different computer areas on the 2 different floors. There's 4 different release stations, and B&W and Color sets for each release station/printer combination, making for a total of 14 different virtual printers. Yes, I know the numbers don't add up, but that's because one release station doesn't release for 1 physical printer. So that was 20 minutes wasted.

But wait, there's more. About 2 hours later the printers in the business office died. First it was the printer in the accounting pool, then it was the admin printer. After rebooting the accounting printer, they were able to print again. The reboot trick didn't work on the admin printer, so I just repointed the clients to the regular IP_ port from the HP_DIU port, and they worked.

I wish that the HP_DIU ports weren't such a complete pain in the ass. None of them ever work right, and some of the install packs put more crap on the computer than it's worth.

Of course it doesn't help the way all the networks are structured. We have to either VPN or run a Terminal Services session to access the various PeopleSoft servers on the County network because we're on a completely separate network from the rest of the county. The only things connecting our network and their network is a Gig fiber link between 2 routers with a TS server on the other end.

The big rub comes in when people want their pay stubs. The county told the Library that it would cost roughly $1 per paystub per week to have them mailed out. The Library told the county to pound sand, and we were forced to go on E-Stubs which we have to print out ourselves. There are 50 different network attached printers (and at least that many more that are directly attached to computers and shared) of at least 10 different models. We have to install at least 1 set of drivers for each of the printers on the TS server, and we have to install the specific drivers for each one of the printers on the appropriate clients. We can't use the "Universal Driver" that makes it incredibly easy to install printers.

The really wacky thing is that if the staff doesn't remember that they have to select a printer, and they just hit the print button; it prints out down the street and around the corner at Adult Probation.

The Chocolate Sabbat

2010-03-20T14:32:00.001-07:00

For all you pagans out there, you'll get it. (Especially you, Gothweasel! I miss you!)

Materials required:

On the altar are

brown candles,
a Tootsie Roll (the great big one- as the athame),
a large glass with milk in it (the chalice),
a small dish of Hershey's Syrup and a spoon,
a small dish of chocolate sprinkles,
a plate of cupcakes,
some Yoo-Hoo along with a goblet,
and small dish of chocolate ice cream.

The Celebrants

Handmaiden (Henceforth known as Swiss Miss)
High Priestess (Henceforth known as Betty Crocker)
Page (Henceforth known as Pillsbury Dough Boy)
High Priest (Henceforth known as Mr. Goodbar)

Cleanse the Sacred Space

Pillsbury Dough Boy take the small dish of chocolate sprinkles

Chocolate sprinkles where thou art cast
No calories in thy presence last.
Let no harm adhere to me
And as I will so mote it be!

Swiss Miss take the small dish of Hershey's Syrup, spoon and large
glass with milk

Hershey's Syrup where thou art cast
Turn this milk to chocolate, fast.
Let all good things come unto me,
and make my milk all chocolatey!

Cast The Circle

Betty Crocker using a tootsie roll as athame walks around the circle
three times

Mr. Goodbar intones the invocation

In the beginning,
there was the word.
And the word was Chocolate.
And it was good.
Confections: 1.5 oz., 240 cal.

Call the Quarters

Betty Crocker
Mousse of the East, Fluffy one!
Great princess of the palace of dessert!
Be present we pray thee, and guard this circle from all moochers
approaching from the East.

Pillsbury Dough Boy
Fondue of the South, Molten one!
Great prince of the palace decadence!
Be present we pray thee, and guard this circle from all diets
approaching from the South.

Swiss Miss
Cocoa of the West, Satisfying one!
Great princess of the palace of thirst quenchers!
Be present we pray thee, and guard this circle from all carob
approaching from the West.

Mr. Goodbar
Rocky Road of the North, Cold one!
Great prince of the palace of crunchy comfort food!
Be present we pray thee, and guard this circle from all cheap
imitations approaching from the North.

MAIN RITUAL

Pillsbury Dough Boy
Listen to the words of the Mother of Chocolate, who was of old called:
Godiva, Suzi Q, Little Debbie, Dolly Madison, Fanny Farmer, Sara Lee,
and by many other names:

Swiss Miss
Whenever you have one of those cravings,
once in a while and better it be when your checkbook is full,
then shall you assemble in a great public place
and bring offerings of money to the spirit of Me,
who is Queen of all Goodies.

In the mall shall you assemble,
you who have eaten all of your chocolate and are hungry for more.
To you I shall bring Good Things for your tongue.
And you shall be free from depression.
And as a sign that you are truly free,
you shall have chocolate smears on your cheeks,
and you shall munch, nosh, snack, feast, and make yummy noises all in
my presence.

For mine is the ecstasy of theobromine,
and mine is also the joy on earth,
yea, even into high orbit
for my law is "melts in your mouth, not in your hand."
Keep clean your fingers,
carry Wet Ones always,
let none keep you from Me.

For Mine is the secret that opens your mouth,
and Mine is the taste that puts a smile on your lips
and comfy padding pounds on your hips.
I am the gracious Goddess who gives the gift of joy
onto the tummies of women and men.

Upon earth, I give knowledge of all things delicious,
and beyond death
well, I can't do much there.
Sorry about that.

I demand only your money in sacrifice,
for behold,
chocolate is a business,
and you have to pay for those truffles
before you eat them.

Pillsbury Dough Boy
Hear now the words of the Goodie Goddess,
she in the dust of whose feet are the cheap imitations,
whose body graces candy racks and finer stores everywhere:

Betty Crocker
I, who am the beauty of chocolate chips,
and the satisfying softness of big bars,
the mystery of how they get the filling inside truffles,
and fill the hearts of all but Philistines with desire,
call unto thy soul to arise and come unto Me.

For I am the soul of candy,
from Me do all confections spring,
and unto Me all of you shall return,
again.... and again... and again.... and again.

Before My smeared face,
beloved of women and men,
thine innermost divine self shall be enfolded in the rapture of
overdose.
Let My taste be within thy mouth that rejoices.
For behold, all acts of yumminess and pleasure are My rituals.

Therefore let there be gooeyness and mess,
crispness and crackling,
big slabs and bite size pieces,
peanut butter and chocolate covered cherries all within you.

And you who think to seek Me,
know that your seeking and yearning shall avail you not
unless you know the Mystery:
"We shall sell no chocolate until you pay for it"

For behold:
I have been with you since you were just a baby,
and I am that which is attained at nearly any shop in the land.
Messed be.

Pillsbury Dough Boy
Hear now the words of the Chocolate God, who was of old called:
Milton Snavely Hershey, 3 Muskateers, Fudgesicle, Devil Dog, Mars,
Willy
Wonka and by many other names:

Mr. Goodbar
I am the strength of the candy rack,
and the piece that fell on the floor but looks like it may not have
gotten
too dirty, and the deepest bitterness of dark chocolate.

No matter how you try to resist the call of chocolate,
I will hunt you out,
and I will become your sacred prey.

I am warmth of hot cocoa in the dead of winter,
and the call of the road that leads you to that really expensive
Godiva store downtown.

I give you My creatures,
the fire of love of chocolate,
the power of jaw strength to bite off a piece of that frozen Milky Way
bar
and the shelter of Haagen Dazs when that big date didn't work out.

You are dear to Me,
and I instill in you the power of a piece of chocolate that you had
forgotten you had hidden, and the power of vision and magickal sight
with which you can spot a candy counter a mile away.

By the powers of the half melted bar in the glorious sun,
I charge you,
by the darkest depths of the bottom of the cocoa pot
and lingering smell of bittersweet chocolate, I charge you,
and by the beauty of a perfectly formed Reese's Peanut Butter Cup, I
charge you.

Follow your heart and your instinct, wherever they lead you.
The wealth in your pocket can buy you treats that a Mayan king would
envy.
Take joy in that first bite of lecithin emulsified cocoa,
and in the last satisfying slurp of Yoo-Hoo.

Yet you must be wary of deceit.
Eat not of that which is called "baking chocolate,"
for it is vile and bitter.

Lastly, always remember to leave some chocolate behind you.
Be not greedy,
but let yourself be known as a connoisseur.
Leave a little for someone else.

I am with you always,
just over your shoulder,
or around the next corner.

I am the Lord of Chocolate,
and when you have reached the end of you hoard,
I will never be further away from you than that 7-Eleven on the
corner.

I am the spirit of the wild child,
the inner child who can never get quite enough.
If you are a true chocolate lover,
then your soul and mine are intertwined.

Cupcakes and Yoo-Hoo

Blessing of the Yoo-Hoo

Mr. Goodbar
Be it known that milk chocolate is not better than dark chocolate

Betty Crocker
Nor is dark chocolate better than milk chocolate

Pillsbury Dough Boy
For both are better than the falsely named "white chocolate"

Swiss Miss
And neither one is carob

Mr. Goodbar
As the frosting is to the cupcake

Betty Crocker
So the creamy nougat is to the Milky Way bar

Pillsbury Dough Boy
And when they are eaten,
they are yummy in truth,

Swiss Miss
for there is no greater snack in all the world
than one made of chocolate.

Blessing of the cupcakes

Mr. Goodbar & Pillsbury Dough Boy
Frosting is keen

Betty Crocker & Swiss Miss
And frosting is neat

Mr. Goodbar, Pillsbury Dough Boy, Betty Crocker & Swiss Miss
Great Goddess! Let's eat!

Feasting and Drinking

Dismiss Quarters

Betty Crocker
Oh, ye mighty goodies of the East,
we thank you for attending our rites and guarding our circle,
and ere you depart for your sweet and sticky realms,
we say unto you,

All participants
"Choooooooc-laaaaate"

Pillsbury Dough Boy
Oh, ye mighty goodies of the South,
we thank you for attending our rites and guarding our circle,
and ere you depart for your sweet and sticky realms,
we say unto you,

All participants
"Choooooooc-laaaaate"

Swiss Miss
Oh, ye mighty goodies of the West,
we thank you for attending our rites and guarding our circle,
and ere you depart for your sweet and sticky realms,
we say unto you,

All participants
"Choooooooc-laaaaate"

Mr. Goodbar
Oh, ye mighty goodies of the North,
we thank you for attending our rites and guarding our circle,
and ere you depart for your sweet and sticky realms,
we say unto you,

All participants
"Choooooooc-laaaaate"

Mr. Goodbar: After all quarters have been dismissed, give a final
satisfying belch at the east

Open Circle

Pillsbury Dough Boy
Go now in perfect love,
perfect trust,
and perfect chocolate

The Information Superhighway

2010-03-20T08:01:00.001-07:00

Here's something I got (appropriately) over the net from someone, who got it from someone, who in turn got it from somebody else. I have no idea who originally wrote it.

"Think of the Internet as a highway."

There it is again. Some clueless fool talking about the "Information Superhighway." They don't know didley about the net. It's nothing like a superhighway. That's a rotten metaphor.

Suppose the metaphor ran in the other direction. Suppose the highways were like the net. . .

A highway hundreds of lanes wide. Most with pitfalls for potholes. Privately operated bridges and overpasses. No highway patrol. A couple of rent-a-cops on bicycles with broken whistles. 500 member vigilante posses with nuclear weapons. A minimum of 237 on ramps at every intersection. No signs. Wanna get to Ensenada? Holler out the window at a passing truck to ask directions. Ad hoc traffic laws. Some lanes would vote to make use by a single-occupant- vehicle a capital offense on Monday through Friday between 7:00 and 9:00. Other lanes would just shoot you without a trial for talking on a car phone.

AOL would be a giant diesel-smoking bus with hundreds of ebola victims on board throwing dead wombats and rotten cabbage at the other cars, most of which have been assembled at home from kits. Some are built around 2.5 horsepower lawnmower engines with a top speed of nine miles an hour. Others burn nitrogylcerin and idle at 120.

No license plates. World War II bomber nose art instead. Terrifying paintings of huge teeth or vampire eagles. Bumper mounted machine guns. Flip somebody the finger on this highway and get a white phosphorus grenade up your tailpipe. Flatbed trucks cruise around with anti-aircraft missile batteries to shoot down the traffic helicopter. Little kids on tricycles with squirtguns filled with hydrochloric acid switch lanes without warning.

NO OFFRAMPS. None.

Now that's the way to run an Interstate Highway system.

Some classic Tech Support problems.

2010-03-20T07:54:00.000-07:00

To this day, some of them show up, either in one form or another.

1. "My hard disk won't boot." I suggest they take the floppy out of drive A:. Later when I arrive, they have successfully removed the floppy drive from the machine (with the floppy disk still inside).

2. "My dog goes nuts when I run Windows. No problem with any DOS programs." Her monitor had a cracked flyback transformer. When the multisync monitor switched scan rates upon entering Windows, the high frequency audio produced by the broken flyback was heard by the dog.

3. "Michaelangelo virus ate my hard disk, but I have a tape backup. Can you help me restore the system." No problem. When I arrive, I find the data on the tape was 18 months old and that she had never run a backup. "I thought you just shoved in the tape and it sucked up the data."

4. "How do I get on the national data information super highway?" I ask if he has accounts on any bbs's. He has Netcom, Compuserve, and others. I tell him he's already on the highway. "Is that all there is?" I hangup.

5. "What's the fastest way to move 500MBytes of data daily from Santa Cruz to Los Angeles?" Answer: FedEx.

6. How many RJ45 connector does it take to build 8ea 10baseT cables? Answer: 45. I put the first 16 connectors on with one end backward. I then chopped off the good ends. Chopping off the other 8 connectors and effectively starting over consumed another 16 connectors. The 2nd try resulted in one end being mirror-imaged. Chopping of 8 more connectors I finally got them wired correctly. Then I tested them for continuity and found 5 bad crimps. Total=45.

7. "What kind of hard disk do you have?" Well... It's black with a little red light ... (groan).

8. Most common support call. "I lost my CMOS setup. How many heads, cylinders, and sectors does a _______ drive have?"

9. "I move the mouse in any direction and the cursor only moves an inch or so on the screen and stops." Take the foam shipping ring out from around the mouse ball.

10. "My systems on fire. What do I do?"
Ummmmm. Turn it off? "(Click)"

11. Most hated support call: "I'm not sure if we need a computer system. Can you give me the relative advantages of Unix, DOS, Windows, Novell, MacIntosh, Sun, etc...?"

12. Favorite software support call: "I just installed Word 6.0 for Windows. It's really big and slow. How much will it cost to upgrade my machine?"

13. "My floppy drive won't read disks." I suggest they clean out the dust from the drive. "I can't." Huh? "The dust won't move". I find that they were using spray glue near the machine and that all the dust was glued in place.

14. How to impress a new customer: I walk into the computer room and knock the fire extinguisher off the wall which immediately sprays everything with dust.

15. "My printer stopped working." Turn it upside down and shake out the staples and paper clips. Works every time.

16. "Can you teach me how to use a computer?" I answer: No. I just fix the machines, I don't use them.

17. The company motto: "If this stuff worked, you wouldn't need me."

18. From one of my smarter clients: "Why is something broken every time you're here?"

19. "I'm trying to install a 2nd IDE drive. Support told me to take out ALL the jumpers." How many did you take out? "12". (What they meant were the two easily accessible jumpers).

20. I call a manufacturer to order a manual on some junk I picked up surplus. The receptionist asks my name and company. She notes that I'm not in their database and could she have my address and phone numbers. No problem. I'm then transfered to the customer service department which notes that I'm not in the database and asks for the same information. The customer service person transfers me to the the parts department which notes that I'm not in the database etc... Since the manual will take a few days to arrive, I ask for tech support who notes that I'm not in the database etc... The manual arrived promptly followed by 4 identical envelopes of promotional literature with exactly the same name and address.

21. Question LEAST likely to be answered correctly by support: "What is the current version of your software/hardware/firmware?"

22. Pacific Telephone Support Dept (Dial 611 for repair service), now asks you to punch in your phone number, and then warns you that you will be asked to verbally recite the same number when the service operator answers. I wonder what happens if they're different?

23. Email from a friend: "CanYouFixTheSpaceBarOnMyKeyboard?"

24. Fax back information service for additional information from one vendor requesting just one item returns a copy of their catalog page plus 10 pages of promotional garbage.

25. Email autoreply from support@_______.com
Thank you for your support request.
(drivel deleted)
Please refer to support request number:
Error: cannot create /u/something/filename
(4 lines of garbage deleted)
in future correspondence. Your request will be processed
in the order received.
(more garbage with Out of space on hd(1,41) mixed in.)

26. Conversation with support at a certain controller manufacturer.
"I can't answer that, please call your dealer."
"I am the dealer."
"Then call your distributor"
"He said for me to call you"
"Then have the customer call us"
"AAAAAGH!" <click>

27. Modems and payphones don't mix. I hotwired my laptop into the mouthpiece of a payphone and proceeded to do system maintenance on a customers machine. The sheriff arrived shortly and proceeded to interrogate me. Someone called complaining that I was using a computer to steal money from the payphone.

28. Having my system page me when it does an unscheduled reboot was a good idea. Having all my customers machines do the same was a mess after a power failure and 100+ pages.

29. "My hard disk has a virus!" How can you tell, I ask? "When I type DIR, it says VIRUS <DIR> and some date stuff." (Hint: Never name the directory for virus scanning software VIRUS).

30. Some monitor manufacturers suggest using alchohol to clean the screen. They forget to mention that the monitor should be off. (Boom).

31. I told a customer to take his machine to a gas station and have them blow the dust out. The gas station hands him a 150psi air nozzle that belches rusty water and oil. I got to clean up the mess for free. He also mangled the floppy heads with the high pressure.

32. Oxymoron candidate: Disk Protector. That's the cardboard disk they shove in the floppy drive for shipping. More drives have been mangled by shoving in the wrong shape, backwards, or bent than have ever been protected by them. Use a floppy disk instead.

33. What's the difference between a Van DeGraf static generator and a belt driven vacuum cleaner? Answer: Not much. Don't use a vacuum to clean your computer.

34. After the cleaning service crashed the computer for the 4th time by plugging the floor sweeper into the UPS, I decided to take action. I suggested they install "child proof" plastic plugs in any outlets deemed worthy of protection. The order went though the chain of confusion, and I was soon blessed with 1000 child proof plugs hot stampled with "Protected." I gave instructions to install about 10 of them on the protected outlets. However, the maintenance person assigned to the task knew nothing and proceeded to plaster every outlet in the building with the plugs. Mutiny was averted by spending all night removing the monsters. Three years later, they are still appearing.

35. Hint: Do not allow long hair black cats to sleep atop laser printers and tape drives. The black hair is almost invisible in black pattens, gears, and rollers.

36. Forensic filth analysis is a new part of computer repair. I now carry a microscope and some chemicals which are used to determine the exact nature of the filth I remove from keyboards, mice, computers, light pens. While nobody pays me to do this, it definately adds to the entertainment value.

37. Why do customers think that I maintain a document and device driver library for every conceivable board ever made?

38. From a hard disk drive manufacturer: "The drive stopped working. I poped the little plug and noticed it was awful dry inside. I added some oil but it didn't help."

39. Which arrow key? There are 17 arrows on the keyboard.

40. Favorite error message: "Out of paper on drive D:" This was produced by a timeout error on a slow WORM drive and a defective AT/IO card.

41. At one time, I was into antique furniture. When I purchased my first computer (IBM 4.77 PC), I decided that it deserved a suitable antique table. I ask the local antique dealer: "Do you have an antique computer desk?" He looks at me with a strange look and says: "They didn't have computers when this stuff was made."

42. When 3.5" floppies first appeared, some users were confused with the operation of the write protect window. One user wanted to be doubly sure that the disk would be safe from his mistakes. He correctly opened the window and just to be sure, covered it with one of the magic write protect tabs from a 5.25" floppy.

43. Favorite Windoze game: "Guess what this icon does?"

44. A video store installed the computer on top of the cash drawer. Every time the cash drawer would open, the hard disk would get a good bouncing. I decided that this was technically disgusting, and moved the machine. The next morning, the drive wouldn't spin up (stiction). Solution: Put it back on top of the cash drawer and let it bounce.

45. The curse of the mad labeler. Some of the clone cards I see have stick on METALIZED labels that a quite good at shorting traces. I've fixed a few by just removing the stick-on short. A variation on this effect is the tendency for some distributors to put stick-on labels on TOP of their 486 chips. Then they smear on some silicon grease and bury the mess under a heat sink and fan. The air gap produced between the chip and heat sink severely degrade its cooling value.

If you don't get it, Google is your friend.

2010-03-18T20:34:00.001-07:00

(found on the internet)

Some time ago, I was taking a ground school class for private pilots. During the sessions on weather, the instructor wanted to discuss the concept of sublimation - the act of going from a gas to a solid skipping the intermediate stage(s). e.g., frost - water vapor in the air becoming a solid on surfaces without first going through the liquid stage.

Wanting to see if the class had understood the concept, the instructor asked if anyone could provide an example of something that went straight from a solid to a gas (expecting "dry ice" as the answer), a previously unknown section of my mind took control of my mouth and immediately emitted the word "burrito."

It took the instructor about 10 minutes to regain an academic composure.

Movie title mashups

2010-03-17T15:08:00.001-07:00

One time on Saturday Night Live, Dennis Miller made mention of a "new movie" coming out called "Crocodile Gandhi." In a similar vein, Not Necessarily The News (on HBO) once had a teaser for "Superman III, Psycho II." My friends and I here at UNC have come up with some "sequels" of our own, titles that combine the titles of already existing movies. See what you think, and please email us if you come up with some yourself! The list is always growing...

Dirty Dances With Wolves
What About Bob And Carol And Ted And Alice?
Pee-Wee's Big Adventures In Babysitting
Marathon Rain Man
When Dirty Harry Met Sally...
Nightmare On Wall Street
Star Trek II: The Grapes Of The Wrath Of Khan
License To Kill A Mockingbird
The Year Of Johnny Dangerously
Young Naked Guns
The Elephant Man With Two Brains
Peggy Sue Got Married To The Mob
Three Men And Rosemary's Baby
Lambada: The Forbidden Planet
Zorro, The Gay Blade Runner
2001 Dalmatians
Smokey And The Time Bandits
The Creature From The Blue Lagoon
Terminators Of Endearment

...and our favorite...

Godzilla Must Be Crazy!

Billable Hours

2010-03-16T13:15:00.000-07:00

Joe the lawyer died suddenly, at the age of 45. He got to the gates of Heaven, and the angel standing there said, "We've been waiting a long time for you."

"What do you mean," he replied, "I'm only 45, in the prime of my life. Why did I have to die now?"

"45? You're not 45, you're 82," replied the angel.

"Wait a minute. If you think I'm 82 then you have the wrong guy. I'm only 45. I can show you my birth certificate."

"Hold on. Let me go check," said the angel and disappeared inside. After a few minutes the angel returned. "Sorry, but by our records you are 82. I checked all the hours you have billed your clients, and you have to be 82..."

Bum, or not a bum?

2010-03-16T11:27:00.001-07:00

A nun was sitting at a window in her convent one day... when she was handed a letter from home. Upon opening it a $10 bill dropped out. She was most pleased at receiving the gift from her home folks, but as she read the letter her attention was distracted by the actions of a shabbily dressed stranger who was leaning against a post in front of the convent.

She couldn't get him off her mind and, thinking that he might be in financial difficulties, she took the $10 bill and wrapped it in a piece of paper, on which she had written, "Don't despair, Sister Eulalia," and threw it out of the window to him. He picked it up, read it, looked at her with a puzzled expression, tipped his hat and went off down the street.

The next day she was in her cell saying her beads when she was told that some man was at her door who insisted on seeing her. She went down and found the shabbily dressed stranger waiting for her. Without saying a word he handed her a roll of bills. When she asked what they were for he replied, "That's the sixty bucks you have coming. Don't Despair paid 5-1."

Bar jokes, if your word processor turned into a food processor.

2010-03-11T13:31:00.001-08:00

These three strings go into a bar and order a martini. One string notices a horse with a sign that says, "Make me laugh, make me cry, win $1000" on it. Meanwhile, a bell starts ringing in the clock tower overhead, and suddenly there is a loud thud as a body falls to the street in front of the bar. "I'm a Frayed Knot!" screams one enraged string at the bartender, and then disappears. Kant leaves via the back door. The other string stands in front of the horse and pulls down his pants. It isn't clear at this point why the horse is wearing pants.

The Inspector walks in the front door and says to no one in particular, "I can't remember his name, but his face rings a bell." Several dozen customers instinctively stab their F keys. The remaining string gulps down the rest of his martini and says, "And at these prices, you're not likely to see many more!"

At the table in the back, the Doctor looks intently at his patient and says, "And if you don't quit jerking off, your elbow's never going to get any better!" "You think your thore," the patient screams back, "I can't even thit!"

There's a loud thud as another body hits the pavement in front of the bar, and a Purdue freshman runs in the door and says, "And now his brother's a dead ringer, too!"

The door to the bathroom opens and a young boy in a vaguely Medieval costume wanders out. "Do you know where some Yellow Fingers are?" he asks.

Suddenly, there is a loud crash outside and a bleeding man comes stumbling into the bar. "Was that a penguin I just ran over, or a nun with sunglasses?" he asks. "I think not," says the bartender, and disappears.

A yokel gets up from a corner booth and asks the bartender (who has mysteriously reappeared), "Bartender, where is the library at?" The bartender looks askance at the hick and replies "We don't serve people from Purdue, *ASSHOLE*!" and hits him over the head with a bat, killing him instantly.

Immediately, several people scream out "I'm a dead ringer for my brother!"

(Fortunately, at this point the election results came in and Ferdinand Marcos won 512 to 2.)

An Indian walks into the bar and asks the bartender for a Q-tip. "Wax problem?" the solicitous bartender asks. "No, buffalo come," replies the red man.

The bartender notices a man scrawling graffiti on the wall and levels him with both barrels of a sawed-off shotgun. The first part of the grafitti reads:

>>>Electricians do it for the halibut.
>>I have a haddock.
>Cod, I hate this.

The bar explodes into spontaneous applause.

A prison convict stands on his chair, clears his throat and says, "57!" The room is dead silent. The silence is broken by screams from the man trying to remove his appendix with the scalpel he found underneath his chair. There are several examples of Universes scattered about the floor beside him.

A disgruntled reader gets up and leaves via the front door...

For all my literary readers

2010-03-11T12:34:00.001-08:00

A librarian is working away at her desk when she notices that a chicken has come into the library and is patiently waiting in front of the desk. When the chicken sees that it has the librarian's attention, it squawks, "Book, book, book, BOOK!"

The librarian complies, putting a couple of books down in front of the chicken. The chicken quickly grabs them and disappears.

The next day, the librarian is again disturbed by the same chicken, who puts the previous day's pile of books down on the desk and again squawks, "Book, book, book, BOOK!"

The librarian shakes her head, wondering what the chicken is doing with these books, but eventually finds some more books for the chicken. The chicken disappears.

The next day, the librarian is once again disturbed by the chicken, who squawks (in a rather irritated fashion, it seems), "Book, book, book, BOOK!" By now, the librarian's curiosity has gotten the better of her, so she gets a pile of books for the chicken, and follows the bird when it leaves the library. She follows it through the parking lot, down the street for several blocks, and finally into a large park. The chicken disappears into a small grove of trees, and the librarian follows. On the other side of the trees is a small marsh. The chicken has stopped on the side of the marsh. The librarian, now really curious, hurries over and sees that there is a small frog next to the chicken, examining each book, one at a time. The librarian comes within earshot just in time to hear the frog saying, "Read it, read it, read it..."

Completely generic jokes

2010-03-06T14:31:00.001-08:00

(1) A person belonging to an ethnic group whose members are commonly considered to have certain stereotypical mannerisms met another person belonging to a different ethnic group with a different set of imputed stereotypical mannerisms. The first person acted in a manner consistent with the stereotypes associated with his ethnic group, and proceeded to make a remark which might be considered to establish conclusively his membership in that group, whereupon his companion proceeded to make a remark with a double meaning, the first meaning of which could be interpreted to indicate his agreement with his companion, but the other meaning of which serves to corroborate his membership in his particular ethnic group. The first person took offense at his remark, and reacted in a stereotypical way!

(2) Q: How many people belonging to a certain ethnic group does it take to perform a particular menial activity?

A: A finite positive integer. One to perform the activity, and the rest to behave in a manner stereotypical of their ethnic group!

In honor of DADT...

2010-03-06T14:28:00.000-08:00

Boot camp. Duluth, Minnesota. February. Six A.M. Six below zero.

The Sergeant bellows, "Outta those bunks! Birthday suit inspection! I want you (deleted) to fall in outside, NOW! Buck nekkid! Stand close enough to make the man in front of you smile! MOVE, YOU #@$$&*s!"

The barracks quickly empty, the men fall in and shiver at attention.

The Sergeant hollers, "LOOSEN RANKS!"

The ranks separate a bit. The Captain approaches, carrying a swagger stick. With the stick, he swats one of the men across the chest.

"Did that hurt, Mister?" the Captain demands.

"No, SIR!" the recruit shouts.

"Why not?" barks the Captain.

"Because I'm a U.S. Marine, SIR!"

The Captain nods, and moves on down the front rank a bit. He whacks another man across the butt.

"Did that hurt, Mister?"

"No, SIR!"

"Why not?"

"Because I'm a U.S. Marine, SIR!"

Satisfied, the Captain continues on down the rank. He notices that one of the men is sporting a huge erection, and brings his stick down sharply on the proffered target.

"Did that hurt, Mister?"

"No, SIR!"

"Why not?"

"Because it belongs to the fellow behind me, SIR!"

(From the rec.humor.funny archives)

A quick analysis of the Pentagon Shooter

2010-03-05T10:55:00.001-08:00

All the pundits are yakking about this nut, but here's some facts:

Registered Democrat (HT Electorates.us via Michelle Malkin)
Represented by Sam Farr (total Left-wing nutjob) in the House
The Congressional District voted 72.1% for Obummer
Through Gerrymandering is represented in the State Assembly by Jeff Denham, who gets most of his support from Valley farmers, and also happens to be my State Senator (also because of that same Gerrymandering)
His Assembly representative is a total Left-wing nutjob named Anna Caballero, who cares little for the white population of her district, and wants full amnesty for illegal aliens.

Don't let the MSM lie to you. This guy was a completely whacked-out product of our left-wing educational system.

The Love/Hate relationship with Christmas

2009-12-24T13:15:00.001-08:00

I love Christmas. I love the cold, and the snow, and the trees and the lights and decorations and food and, and, and...

I hate Christmas. I hate having to shop for gifts, fighting for a parking space. I hate cleaning the house. I hate trying to figure out what everyone wants for gifts. I hate depleting my bank account to make everyone happy. I hate cooking for everyone. I hate not knowing who is going to show up to exchange gifts.

This year is even worse, because Mom is gone. I thought that it wouldn't be, since we survived through Thanksgiving (that's another Charlie Foxtrot for another post), but it's tough without her. She's the one that got all the decorations out and took care of the house. There's still nothing up at home. Not a lick of decoration to show that it's Christmas. I guess we just don't care all that much.

I did get some stuff for my Girlfriend. I figure that about $125 worth of stuff will keep her from bitching at me too much. I hope she's happy with what I got her, otherwise she can just suffer. It's not like I'm rich or anything like that.

Caulking and stripping

2009-12-15T08:57:00.001-08:00

I don't know about you, but our current administration seems to be the most arrogant and most incredibly naive ever. Daily, we get treated like a bunch of children that don't know how to take care of ourselves, then we get told that we need to do things like put air in our tires and caulk and weatherstrip our homes.

We get told that we need to have the government give us healthcare; tell us that CO2 is a pollutant, even though trees thrive on it; tell us that everything is the previous administration's fault, even though everything that's going on now is a direct result of this administration's policies; and we have a president that can't get out of campaign mode or talk without a prompter.

I'm mad as hell, and I'm not going to take it any more. I'm going to get out this campaign season and do something. I'm going to make sure that Chuck DeVore boots Boxer out. I'm going to keep Fiorina and Whitman as far away from government as possible. I'm through with the fake conservatives, or as Mike Church calls them, DeceptiCons. I'm going to support and vote for the real conservatives. The era of bullshit is over.

Another "duh" survey.

2009-05-31T22:13:00.000-07:00

Considering one of my earlier postings, this is an obvious conclusion.

Created by Recipe Star

Sometimes I like a little something soft.

2009-05-23T14:54:00.000-07:00

In the local market, we've had a smooth jazz station on and off for the last few years. I'm a big smooth jazz guy when I'm trying to de-stress from all of the BS, and the only way I can get it is through by subscription to Sirius Satellite Radio. Since Sirius changed and made their online feed a pay thing for all but Lifetime Subs, I had to find another way to get my smooth jazz fix, so I put together a "station" on Pandora. If you want to listen, just plug in to my station, and you'll come up with a well-seeded "station" that will play all of your smooth jazz favorites. This way, I can be anywhere, and there's a way that I can listen to smooth jazz, even if there's no station near.

It's the most muslim-unfriendly beverage EVAR!!!!

2009-04-20T21:51:00.000-07:00

Bacon-flavored vodka. I'm jumping out of my skin at the thought of this. Too bad it's only in the PNW, but seeing that I'm in California, we're probably next.

Go see for yourself: http://www.bakonvodka.com/

Another surprise... NOT!

2009-03-11T19:13:00.000-07:00

I am a: Glock Model 22 in 40 cal

What kind of handgun are YOU?

Here's another surprise.

2009-02-26T07:22:00.000-08:00

You are a
Social Liberal
(60% permissive)

and an...
Economic Conservative
(80% permissive)

You are best described as a:

Capitalist

Link: The Politics Test on Ok Cupid

Can I get a parachute?

2009-02-23T13:17:00.000-08:00

As the DJIA, S&P 500, and NASDAQ all head for the basement, with their chart curves looking like a BASE jumper's dream, I had to take a look at the markets during the last administration.

Here's what I found:

In the "Worst economy since the Depression", in October 2008, the DJIA was at its highest point EVAR!!!!!!

Between January 2001 and October 2008, the DJIA gained 2000 points.

Between the lowest and highest points during the Bush administration, there was a 6400 point increase. The lowest point was in September 2001 (gee, what happened then?)

As of the close of the markets today, the DJIA is lower than it EVER was during the Bush Administration.

I know I'm not the first to say this: IMPEACH OBAMA!

So are we going digital on 2/17 or not?

2009-01-29T14:28:00.000-08:00

So Congress, in its infinite wisdom, is going to push back the digital TV transition for another 4 months, to June 12. So the 18 months worth of ads from the FCC, NAB, NARTE, etc.; and the ads and bumpers from the local stations; and all the ads in newspapers and magazines; and the live tests (at least by my local stations) with big graphics on their analog feeds essentially saying "You're Fucked After Feb. 17"; and the "nightlight provision" that allows TV stations to keep their analog signals running at a lower power if they're not in the 700 MHz section that's going to public safety is all for nothing.

When the FedGov offered the $40 coupons for converter boxes, didn't they expect every single house in the US to take them up on their offer? Did manufacturers and retailers not expect to sell them?

It's time to tell your Congresscritters and Duh Prez to let the DTV transition go on as planned with the Feb. 17 deadline. Call the Capitol and the White House and let them know that Public Safety is counting on the Feb. 17 deadline, and that the American people have known for years about it.

So what?

2009-01-21T13:16:00.000-08:00

I don't know about you, but 1-20-09 was probably the most "meh" day I've had in 8 years. Well, yeah, I was running around like a chicken with my parts cut off trying to get a stream set up so that the resident Obamatrons in the building could watch their messiah on the big screen in one of the meeting rooms. I had to go off-site to get one fucking cable to plug the computer into the in-house sound system so that "The Anointed One" could be heard through out the room.

I was busy with actual work, and didn't really care what he had to say, even though what little I did catch of it was a whole lot of symbolism and very little substance. When I was at my desk, I was listening Andrew Wilkow playing Ronald Reagan's Inaugural speeches, which made me feel far better about this country. I heard Limbaugh and Hannity talking about the poet and the gay bishop, and did a Nipper and a WTF when I heard the "poem." The poem made no sense, and the prayer was so racially charged that I was disgusted.

Oh, and to the Left, who never missed a chance to talk shit about GW; payback is a bitch, motherfuckers.

Another "What 'X' are you" survey...

2009-01-18T08:03:00.001-08:00

What military aircraft are you?

F-15 Eagle

You are an F-15. Your record in combat is spotless; you've never been defeated. You possess good looks, but are not flashy about it. You prefer to let your reputation do the talking. You are fast, agile, and loud, but reaching the end of your stardom.

Click Here to Take This Quiz
Brought to you by YouThink.com quizzes and personality tests.

Liam Neeson opens a can of whupass (Taken Spoiler)

2009-01-17T22:10:00.000-08:00

That's Taken in a nutshell.

Liam Neeson plays a father whose daughter is kidnapped by human smugglers in Paris. It's a nearly 2 hour thrill ride, with a little intrigue, a little detective work, and a whole of dead bad guys.

Neeson plays Bryan Mills, a former CIA operative that is trying to get to know his estranged daughter, Kim , played by Maggie Grace. Kim goes with her friend, Amanda, to Paris for the first leg of a European tour. They meet what they believe to be a fellow traveler, Peter, at the airport, and share a cab with him. He turns out to be the spotter for the white slavery ring, and soon after a couple of thugs break into the apartment the girls are staying at and kidnap them.

Bryan goes to Paris and begins to look for Kim, using all of the skills that he learned in the CIA. He confronts the kidnappers, and proceeds to kill them, keeping one alive to gain information from in a rather unique way. He finds out that Kim has been sold to a broker of girls that caters to rich Arabs, so he infiltrates the party/auction where the girls are being sold. He sees her on the block, and forces one of the guys to keep bidding to win her.

As he tries to leave, he's attacked by the broker's thugs, who try to kill him. He puts the beatdown on these guys, and kills the broker before going after his daughter, who is in the hands of the Arabs. There's the obligatory chase through the streets of Paris along the Seine, and Bryan jumps from one of the bridges onto the Arab's boat, where he proceeds to kill everyone onboard to get Kim back.

I've left out some stuff to get you to actually go and see the movie, which you had better do.

Dumbassed Ads

2009-01-16T18:33:00.000-08:00

I hate commercials that insult your intelligence.

The one that I currently find particularly annoying is the "Downy Ultra" spot where the hand is pulling clothes out of the bottle cap. The voiceover says something like "Can a little cap soften all this?" Well, if you count the clothes, it's a pair of socks and 3 shirts. I would ferdamsure hope that a cap of softener is going to soften 5 items of clothes.

Indians Fire #4

2008-06-16T11:03:00.000-07:00

Morning briefing was the usual blahblah. Wx hotter and drier. RH coming up, but above 2k' still dry. RH in the low teens to single digits low, high teens to mid 20's high; temps mid 90's low, mid 80's high.

Division assignments all say "continue line construction" except for Div. U - "Prep and hold for possible firing"; structure groups - "provide structure protection for firing ops in Coleman Canyon"; and there's a burn group to fire out Coleman Canyon.

New pictures are up.

Air ops:
A/A FW - 166.6875
A/A RW - 130.200
Briefing - 128.475
Helibase Deck - 163.100
Torch Base - 134.875/171.1375

I'm leaving at about 1500 to head home. I'll post everything that I have left when I get back in.

Indians Fire #3

2008-06-15T18:19:00.000-07:00

PM Briefing: Burnout tomorrow if the line gets completed. Wx getting cooler with a little better RH/Fuel Moisture recovery at lower elevations, but above 2000', it's still going to be hot and dry. The marine layer will come in, but that's part of an inversion, and we all know that above the inversion, it's warm and dry.

Freqs: NIFC Command 1 and 2; NIFC Tacs 2-7; R5 Tac 5; A/G:167.95

Found out during the day that the repeater on Comm 60 was programmed wrong. The right channels are there, but #1 is still the old (now wrong) channel, and the PL tones weren't programmed right - encode only, which does no good - and only a single PL instead of being selectable.

Vehicle and foot traffic over the phone line between the trailer mall and the SitStat tent broke one of the pairs. One down and 3 to go.

The data feed is working great, which is why I'm lucky enough to post here.

Camera battery went dead, so it's on the charger for now. I'm going to get one that takes AA batteries so I can BBS (beg, borrow, steal) them from Supply/Comm/etc.

Indians Fire #2

2008-06-15T10:57:00.000-07:00

Morning Briefing was the usual BS. Apparently the plan is to control the fire long enough to put completed line in on the east side of the fire from Milpitas Road to Arroyo Seco Road along Reliz Canyon and Vaqueros Creek just outside the Wilderness boundary. Minimum Impact Suppression Tactics (MIST) are being required inside the Wilderness, but outside, it's all SRA, and the 12' wide McCleods are having a free-for-all. There's a map showing the last time that there was a fire, and some of the areas in the Wilderness haven't burned for 90-100 years. The IC wants the line put in by tomorrow, and made a comment about a "fire show" which leads me to believe that they're going to draw a line around the wilderness and fire it all out. They'll probably do this at night to make it a low(ish) intensity fire, but it'll burn into the next day.

I've got an album of pictures that I'm uploading as I go along, so check back regularly to see what I've added. Click here for the pictures.

Indians Fire #1

2008-06-14T22:08:00.000-07:00

Okay, I arrived here about 2100, after winding my way around on narrow bumpy paved roads, and a dirt track that's barely wide enough to have 2 cars pass, much less 2 trucks.

The official GPS coordinates for where I am right now are 36 03.77'N x 121 18.12W. I'm about 50' from the row of trailers housing the command team.

Found the 3 most important places in camp: Supply, Food, and the T-Shirt vendor.

Took a bunch of pictures of the helibase. FHL is letting the FS use their helipads, which are nice and paved. There's a few ARNG units out here playing, so I wasn't surprised when I saw them firing blanks in a scenario as I was driving in.

I got the quick and dirty from the guy that I'm relieving about what's going on with Comm 60.

Checked in with the OES Comm Support unit that's here, and the Div Chief said that the plan for the fire is basically this: Draw a big line around it with dozers and hand crews, and fire it out. This about the same strategy that they used on the Zaca fire, but this time they're a little more serious.

There's hotshot crews, engines, watertenders, dozers and helitack crews from just about every forest here. There's a load of other agencies here, too: Kern, SBarb, Ventura, and lots of CDF crews and engines. I'll wander around camp tomorrow and get a few pictures. Now, I'm going to see about getting a place to bed down for the night.

2008-05-22T18:26:00.000-07:00

I like to do a lot of surfing around, and reading other people's blogs, especially when there's nothing better to do, which is why you see my Blogroll. On one of the blogs, there was a linky, which took me to this:

You Will Be a Cool Parent

You seem to naturally know a lot about parenting, and you know what kids need.

You can tell when it's time to let kids off the hook, and when it's time to lay down the law.

While your parenting is modern and hip, it's not over the top.

You know that there's nothing cool about a parent who acts like a teenager... or a drill sergeant!

Would You Be a Cool Parent?

So there you are. I don't have to wonder if I'll be a cool parent, since I've already been there, done that, have the scars and worn out the t-shirt.

The moonbats are flying again in Hollywierd.

2008-04-19T08:11:00.000-07:00

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,350916,00.html

NEW YORK — There's another side to Alicia Keys: conspiracy theorist.

The Grammy-winning singer-songwriter tells Blender magazine: "'Gangsta rap' was a ploy to convince black people to kill each other. 'Gangsta rap' didn't exist."

Keys, 27, said she's read several Black Panther autobiographies and wears a gold AK-47 pendant around her neck "to symbolize strength, power and killing 'em dead," according to an interview in the magazine's May issue, on newsstands Tuesday.

Another of her theories: The bicoastal feud between slain rappers Tupac Shakur and Notorious B.I.G. was fueled "by the government and the media, to stop another great black leader from existing."

WTF? Alicia Keys is black? You could have fooled the living shit outta me. She's about as white as I am when I've got a good tan going. She's whiter than "High Yellow" So who put these nutty conspiracy theories into her head? Has she been listening to the Poverty Pimp Chorus of the Reverends Al, Jesse, and Jeremiah?

Bring me a real black soul singer, like Sade or Anita Baker. Not the fake ones like Alicia, or Amy W(h)inehouse.

2008-04-05T16:11:00.001-07:00

Sorry that I haven't been posting much, even though I said that I would. Here's something to tide you over from Day by Day:

Overdue update...

2007-11-03T08:47:00.000-07:00

Well, for the last 6 months, I've had my dream job. I'm now an official computer geek.

I was hired by the Fresno County Library as an IT Support Tech. That means I get to field the help desk calls, go out to branches and work on their computers and fix the broken ones, among other things. The library is implementing a self-checkout system, which includes RFID tagging of as many books as possible in the system, and I'm the lead person on installing the branch hardware and software.

The best thing is that I get lots of time to sit in front of the computer, surf the net and keep up on everything going on. I work Tuesday through Saturday, and Saturdays are usually dead enough that I can get a lot of stuff done in the office. This morning, I'm building an image as a skills test, so that they know that I know what I'm doing. The problem comes in that it takes so long for each thing to install, even on these screamingly fast computers. Sometimes I have to grab something off one of the network servers, copy it to the local machine or the external drive, and then run it, and that can take forever, depending on the rest of the network traffic.

Maybe now I can post some of the things that happen to me with all the in-duh-viduals running around.

Truthers, 1945 style

2007-11-02T10:37:00.000-07:00

Once in a while, I find something interesting laying about on someone's desk as I'm working on their computer. This time I found a treatise called "The Myth of Hiroshima". From what was on the top page, it looks like the typical anti-American crap that comes from the Red Diaper Doper Babies. Delving deeper into it, though, it takes a sharp turn to the left and starts an anti-Bush, pro-Osama binLaden tack that started my head spinning. I saw so many lies and logic flaws that I didn't know where to begin refuting the garbage. When I get a chance to actually sit down and read it and perform the due diligence, then I might take it point by point and tear it to shreds...

http://www.unique-design.net/library/nature/consequence/hiroshima.html is the URL if you want to set your own head spinning.

Someone else gets it right

2007-05-04T08:29:00.000-07:00

From Prescott, Arizona.

Gun control proponents turning us into cowards

By BOB SHIMIZU

The "rabbit people" are launching another torrent of invective against the
private gun ownership in the United States.

"Some nations bloodied by massacres turn to gun control" by William J. Kole
of the Associated Press fails to state how many times a firearm, or the
threat of one, has deterred violent attacks.

Seung Hui Cho, the shooter at Virginia Tech, acted illegally, so why didn't
the law stop him? Mr. Cho illegally falsified the statements on his Federal
Form 4473 to buy a firearm. He knowingly and illegally carried a gun onto
school property. Cho murdered 32 innocent victims. Finally, Mr. Cho took a
coward's refuge in suicide, his only benevolent act.

Now, college campuses across the country know how unprotected they are. The
police cannot protect the citizenry. At best they can collect forensic
evidence and try to catch the perpetrators, if they're still available.

But blood still stains the walls, and lives remain ruined.

Every U.S. citizen has the right to safety and self-defense. When did we
start thinking that anyone else can "protect" us? When did we come to think
that giving up the tools to protect ourselves means that society must kill our
own snakes for us? Why are we turning into cowards?

Nowhere is this misbegotten ethic more in force than on our liberal college
campuses, where it used to be perfectly fine for students to have
marksmanship classes and clubs. Colleges used to give young citizens a proper
grounding in the principles of government. Colleges made sure students understood
that they are the government and the state serves the people.

The dysfunctional leftist ethos has eroded that teaching along with the
malignant disease of "political correctness." Any confrontation somehow is
"bad." Any heartfelt discussion between opposite points of view is "violence."
Today, in the face of real violence, college kids are unable to do anything
about it.

Nowadays, cowardice is so prevalent that no Virginia Tech students had the
courage to rush Mr. Cho. That concerted action might have stopped things then
and there. Instead, the moral outrage that we might have felt even 40 years
ago has turned into retreat that lets a mad dog strike at will.

We make much of kids jumping out of windows to escape Mr. Cho's predations.
Had I run from this fight, I'd feel like a coward.

It's not the kids' fault. It's ours. We failed to insist that they learn
correctly - that they and they alone are responsible for their safety. We
made them into "rabbit people." We made them into rabbit people because we are
rabbit people.

Every time such a horror occurs, we demand that politicians "do something."
So, they try to ban the object involved rather than state things as they
are: No one can protect you from a mad dog. You have to deal with him
yourself. But after the crushing defeat the left suffered in 1994 after attacking
the Second Amendment, you can be sure they'll tread cautiously. A few
functioning Americans still exist out there.

That's why of the four flights terrorists hijacked on 9/11, one plane failed
to reach its target. That's why a teacher who retrieved his weapon from his
vehicle stopped the Oct. 1, 1997 school shooting in Pearl Miss., and
arrested the criminal. In some cases, Americans still are willing to stand up and
stop the outrage themselves.

The Jan. 31, 2006 Roanoke Times reported that the House Committee on
Militia, Police and Public Safety voted down HB1572 which would have allowed college
students and employees to carry handguns on campus.

Delegate Todd Gilbert, R-Shenandoah County, proposed the bill on behalf of
the Virginia Citizens Defense League. Virginia Tech spokesman Larry Hincker
was happy with the defeat.

"I'm sure the university community is appreciative of the General Assembly's
actions," he said, "because this will help parents, students, faculty and
visitors feel safe on our campus."

A popular bumper sticker reads, "Think globally, act locally." If the
citizens of Prescott want to keep their kids safe at Prescott College, Yavapai
Community College and Embry-Riddle Aeronautical University, the governing boards
of those respective organizations can thumb their noses at federal and state
laws about firearms on college campuses and let concealed carry permit
holders keep and bear arms on school property.

Such people have no criminal record, and have demonstrated both an
understanding of the use of deadly force and the proper manipulation of their weapons.
That would deter any mad dogs among us.

Do they have the courage to act in the face of this outrage? It's a
solution that would work.

(Bob Shimizu is a local businessman, an avid shooter, and a concealed carry
permit holder.)

Arizona is another state that gets it right, allowing open carry, and has a Shall Issue policy on CCW permits.

Who do you trust?

2007-04-18T08:43:00.000-07:00

Who would you trust for your own safety? You, or someone else minutes away? If you trust the police, no wonder why there's so many muggings, assaults, rapes and murders every year. If you don't believe me, here's a case of someone who was forcibly disarmed by the inane policies at Virginia Tech:

Unarmed and vulnerable

Bradford B. Wiles - Thursday, August 31, 2006
http://www.roanoke.com/editorials/commentary/wb/80510

Wiles, of New Castle, is a graduate student at Virginia Tech.

On Aug. 21 at about 9:20 a.m., my graduate-level class was evacuated
from the Squires Student Center. We were interrupted in class and not
informed of anything other than the following words: "You need to get
out of the building."

Upon exiting the classroom, we were met at the doors leading outside
by two armor-clad policemen with fully automatic weapons, plus their
side arms. Once outside, there were several more officers with either
fully automatic rifles and pump shotguns, and policemen running down
the street, pistols drawn.

It was at this time that I realized that I had no viable means of protecting
myself.

Please realize that I am licensed to carry a concealed handgun in the
commonwealth of Virginia, and do so on a regular basis. However,
because I am a Virginia Tech student, I am prohibited from carrying at
school because of Virginia Tech's student policy, which makes posses-
sion of a handgun an expellable offense, but not a prosecutable crime.

I had entrusted my safety, and the safety of others to the police. In light
of this, there are a few things I wish to point out.

First, I never want to have my safety fully in the hands of anyone else,
including the police.

Second, I considered bringing my gun with me to campus, but did not
due to the obvious risk of losing my graduate career, which is ridiculous
because had I been shot and killed, there would have been no graduate
career for me anyway.

Third, and most important, I am trained and able to carry a concealed
handgun almost anywhere in Virginia and other states that have recip-
rocity with Virginia, but cannot carry where I spend more time than
anywhere else because, somehow, I become a threat to others when I
cross from the town of Blacksburg onto Virginia Tech's campus.

Of all of the emotions and thoughts that were running through my head
that morning, the most overwhelming one was of helplessness. That
feeling of helplessness has been difficult to reconcile because I knew I
would have been safer with a proper means to defend myself.

I would also like to point out that when I mentioned to a professor that I
would feel safer with my gun, this is what she said to me, "I would feel
safer if you had your gun."

The policy that forbids students who are legally licensed to carry in
Virginia
needs to be changed.

I am qualified and capable of carrying a concealed handgun and urge
you to work with me to allow my most basic right of self-defense, and
eliminate my entrusting my safety and the safety of my classmates to
the government.

This incident makes it clear that it is time that Virginia Tech and the
commonwealth of Virginia let me take responsibility for my safety.

This came out after the first on-campus incident at the beginning of this school year, when an escaped prisoner threatened the students at this and another nearby campus.

So, who do you trust? For more information on concealed weapons permits for your state, go to packing.org

BOHICA

2007-04-17T08:28:00.000-07:00

Well, the bodies weren't even cold before the anti-self-defense minions began their spew against guns. Of course, there were a couple of people who get it right.

Suarez International USA, Inc. (http://www.suarezinternational.com/)

By now the news about the shootings at Virginia Tech have reached everyone. I hate hearing about things like this. I hate it not only because some probably good people were killed (I say probably because I didn't know any of them), but because those who hate us and our way of life will seek to use these events to further their political agendas. I can almost see Pelosi and Hillary snickering over their bubbling cauldrons at their "good fortune"

I wrote a piece a few months ago on how to prevent these things and it involves, simply and decidedly, that being armed is the best solution.

Point One: It is already illegal to do what the gunman did...murder people...but he did it anyway... sadly, the law failed.

Point Two: It is illegal to bring guns into the University, yet that didn't
stop the gunman. He did it anyway... again, the law failed.

Point Three: As courageous as the University police may be... as trained and equipped as they may be... they are totally irrelevant in such events. As we saw, they did not stop this man. He killed a boatload of people unbothered by the enforcers of the law, the prosecutors of the law, and of course, unbothered by those who obey the law.

Again... THE LAW FAILED.

There are only three conclusions we may reach here.

Conclusion One: These events are unavoidable and some people will simply die this way in the society we have. I personally refuse to accept that under any terms.

Conclusion Two: These event can be stopped by making it illegal for civilians to possess guns. The stupidity of this arguement cannot be overstated, yet that is undoubtedly what we will hear. I will reference all to the points above. In short, as they all invariably do, THE LAW FAILED.

Conclusion Three: Allow those who wish to, to carry guns for their own protection. (and I would add, make any organization that enacts policies to prevent the free exercise of civil rights, liable for any crimes of violence). I think of the three, this one makes the most sense, but probably the one least considered.

Some would say that an armed man or woman would only be able to protect themselves and would not have stopped the gunman. I disagree if in the act of this self-protection, they killed the gunman. What if the first or second intended victim had been one of these? How many lives would have been saved by one civilian carrying a pistol? After all...with all the cops in and around the college already, they could not prevent the shooter from killing again. The law failed here as well did it not?

On the shooter, few facts are coming out. This makes me wonder. First of all, I find it a very strange coincidence that every time some sort of anti-gun (anti-civil rights) legislation is being discussed, something like this happens. I'm not suggesting anything, but the contestants on Deal or No Deal should have as much "coincidental happenstance"

Regardless of where all of the fallout takes us, I expect a greater impetus in the left's attempts to deny our civil right to own and carry guns. I have just ordered a boatload of pistol and rifle magazines for sale at our store, and another two crates of ammo for our own armory.

There are people far more eloquent than I, but here's my version of the bottom line:

Gun Control Kills People

I wish that I could put it in a bigger font, but it's just that simple. If Cho Seung-Hui was not the only one carrying a gun in Norris Hall; if the Virginia State Legislature had pushed the bill through to allow CHL/CCW holders to carry on campuses of the state's university system, there would be a far lower death toll.

Ask Suzanna Gratia-Hupp about not being able to carry her legally owned firearm into a restaurant. She knows all about it, and she did something about it.

On the other hand, Carolyn McCarthy has it all wrong, just like anyone from that crime-infested liberal bastion on New York City.

It's time to wake up America, throw off the liberal shackles keeping us from protecting ourselves, and vote for personal responsibility by throwing out anyone who wants to take our constitutionally guaranteed rights away from us.

Whatever.

2007-03-07T09:08:00.000-08:00

I've had it once again with all the stupid crap going on in the world. I desperately need a vacation away from the world and all the stupidity contained within. Here's my list of stupidity:

Al Gore
Patrick Fitzgerald
DailyKos
DiggBats
Islamists
Airlines & TSA
Enviroweenies

Can I step into a time machine and go back to when Ronnie Reagan was President, and all the world was right?

Utah Mall Shooting Learning Points and Details

2007-03-02T22:19:00.000-08:00

This is stolen from one of the many email lists that I'm on, and I thought that this would be well preserved here on my blog so that I could refer to it, and pass it along to others when necessary.

Posted by: "Autumn Rose Press" JAH@autumnrosebooks.com talks2crows Thu Mar 1, 2007 9:45 am (PST)

Off Duty? Outside Scope? On Vacation? Out with the family?

Things to think about.

Does your unit, department, gang, club, or social shooting group, teach and practice, hand and arm signal communications?

Have you trained your family how to respond in an active shooter situation?

ATAC bulletin: More Info on Salt Lake City Mall Shooting

Here are some observations on last week's Salt Lake City mall shooting from Ken Wallentine, Chief of Law Enforcement for the Utah Attorney General and president of Public Safety Solutions, a public safety consulting company.

There are many rumors swirling around this week's shooting at Trolley Square in Salt Lake City, Utah. Not a great deal is known about the suspect, but the Salt Lake City PD is leading the investigation and doing an incredible job.

Here are a few certain facts about the incident:

1. Salt Lake City Police Department took note of the Columbine tragedy, as did many departments. SLCPD, as well as the Utah Police Academy, added active shooter training to basic training. SLCPD also staged an active shooter drill in one of the city's large downtown shopping malls, with the help of instructors from LAPD. The SLCPD officer who entered the Trolley Square mall had been involved in the simulated mall shooting drill as instructors.

2. Off-duty Ogden PD officer was dining with his wife, an off-duty Ogden PD Dispatcher, when he heard the shots. The dispatcher wife called in the shooting, providing a detailed description of her husband, who advanced to engage the shooter.

3. A patrol sergeant, Andy Oblad, was on patrol in the area. He immediately entered the mall and teamed up with the off-duty Ogden PD officer, Ken Hammon, to halt the shooter's advance toward more victims and pin him down. Sgt. Oblad recognized the off-duty officer from the dispatch description (obtained from the off-duty dispatcher/spouse who is equally a hero).

4. Within 3 minutes of dispatch, an active shooter team from Salt Lake City PD SWAT was moving in. That's THREE MINUTES of the call dispatch. Sgt. Josh Scharman, Detective Dustin Marshall and Detective Brett Olsen formed the contact team. SWAT officers work regular duty in the Gang Unit and are on duty in high call volume hours. The contact team entered the mall, saw the shooter firing on Sgt. Oblad and Officer Hammon, and ordered the suspect to drop the weapon. The suspect turned to the contact team and was instantly neutralized as a threat. A diagram of the event can be found at: http://www.sltrib. com/ci_5223643

5. --The 2002 Winter Olympics moved our valley (and adjoining areas) to full interoperability of comms systems. It worked in 2002 and in worked better last Monday. Radio interoperability is critical (duh!). Now we need to create full statewide interoperability.

6. --Incident Command was up and running with SLCPD Deputy Chief Scott Atkinson in command within an incredibly brief window of time. The Sheriff and Utah Department of Public Safety support groups took their cues from the Incident Commander, just like it is supposed to work. Highway Patrol moved off the freeways into downtown to quickly and solidly lock down a huge perimeter. DPS Air Support gave the eye in the sky and lighting support. No ego problems, no clashes, no delays.

7. --The rumor that there were seven other off-duty officers unarmed in the mall at the time is absolutely groundless.

A few facts about the shooter:

1. Sulejman Talovic came to the United States from Bosnia with his family when he was 5 years old. HIs family was relatively affluent in Bosnia and wanted to leave the violence of the civil war. His father, Sulio Talovic, stated that he did not know what drove his son to commit mass murder, but he believed that someone else motivated his son to do the killings and someone else supplied the weapons. Though the father was surprised by the act, there are clues that seem to fit the profile of school
shooters.

2. There is no evidence that this was a directed act.

3. Sulejman Talovic regularly attended the local Muslim mosque until a recent job change caused him to miss services. His father is well-known in the Muslim community, but active mosque participants say that they did not really know Sulejman Talovic.

4. There is no evidence that the killings are related to Sulejman Talovic's Islamic beliefs or to the Salt Lake City mosque or Muslim community. It appears that the religious affiliation played no role in the killings.

5. Though juvenile court records are sealed, there are credible reports that Sulejman Talovic committed a rock-throwing assault at age 10 and an aggravated assault with a knife at age 12, as well as a report of an un-prosecuted aggravated assault with a knife against his landlord. The landlord did not believe that he was in actual danger.

6. There is a credible report that Sulejman Talovic was disciplined in school and then dropped out just over two years ago for violating school policy by studying AK47 assault rifles on school computers.

7. Despite irresponsible claims by Jack Thompson, known for his First Amendment legal views, there is presently no evidence that the "Salt Lake City Teen Probably Trained on Grand Theft Auto Video Game for Mall Massacre. " It makes for nice headlines, but the investigation is still in very early stages.

Some lessons that I have been urging upon my own staff during the past week:

1. Be ready, all times, all places, all conditions. It may sound trite, but the first rule of a gun fight it to have a gun. I'm asking my officers to remember that they work for a chief who encourages off-duty carry, allows and encourages secondary weapons.

2. You don't drive a cruiser without a spare tire. Don't carry a gun without additional ammo. --Active shooters require active response. Train now.

3. Comms interoperability works!

4. Train with your spouse on how you will respond. Help save your own life by rehearsing off-duty response. Several years ago, I added this element to the Mental Preparation for Combat class that I teach at each Utah Police Academy session. I ask the officers to bring their spouses to the class.

5. Carry a go-bag in the car. My officers all have unmarked police vehicles which they may use off-duty. Many of my staff have duties that take them to rural areas of our state where they may be the only back-up within twenty or thirty miles to a first responder. My staff is directed to re-read my article on preparation: Mission Readiness: Emergency Preparation for the Law Enforcement Officer, The Utah Peace Officer, Fall 2006. Go to: http://www.kenwallentine.com/Publications.html and click on "Mission Readiness." Additionally, read the articles of my friend, fellow chief and warrior, Jeff Chudwin, that regularly appear at PoliceOne.com.

6. When the crisis comes, it will be the first cops on the scene who can make a difference. Officer Ken Hammon, Sgt. Andy Oblad, Sgt. Josh Scharman, Detective Dustin Marshall and Detective Brett Olsen proved it once again. Hooah!

(See diagram of Utah Mall Shooting on Next Page)

http://www.sltrib. com/ci_5223643

YHGTBSM 2/26/07

2007-02-26T14:51:00.000-08:00

http://www.theaviationnation.com/2007/02/25/whos-guarding-the-homelands-hen-house/

The most corrupt Congressman in the House is being appointed to the Homeland Security Committee. Where is the Culture of Corruption now? It certainly isn't on the Republican side. Pelosi should be smacked in the head for this one. She's dumber than a pile of shit (and not much better looking, either) for pulling this stunt. What the hell was she thinking with? Never mind, she probably had her campaign enriched with a little laundered money.

Kentucky Fried Rat

2007-02-23T11:19:00.000-08:00

What has long been a joke is now reality...

Scurrying Rats Take Over NYC KFC-Taco Bell Restaurant

So you thought that I was kidding about the headline. I'm so glad that I live on the West Coast, where live insects or live rodents will get you immediately shut down. Wild, live vermin are disgusting, and anywhere that is so dirty for so long that they are attracted to the filth has a long standing problem. It starts with a bad attitude in the store management, which permeates to the hourly staff, and if the district management/franchisee doesn't take care of it immediately, then it can only get worse.

I've worked in the service industry, and everywhere I worked, we had regular inspections by the health department, and a weekly visit from the exterminator who inspected the whole building for infestation, and provided preventative and , if needed, remedial treatment. None of the facilities that I worked at EVER had a problem with an infestation of anything more than ants, which was taken care of less than 24 hours after discovering the problem.

Of course, being from the Left Coast, I have to get my digs in...

New York City is full of nothing but vermin anyway, from 8-legged all the way to the 2-legged kinds.

Traitors should be hung from the highest yardarm.

2007-02-22T13:40:00.000-08:00

This time it's a bunch of left-wing traitors from the LA Times revealing as much as they can without actually naming names about several CIA covert agents. These aren't desk-bound ex-debutantes, these are actual covert contract operatives working in the field. Tar and feathers isn't good enough for these bastards. It's time to hang them high.

Original Article (registration required)
LGF Blog article
Nice Doggie's Comments

YHGTBSM 2/16/07

2007-02-16T15:27:00.000-08:00

Here's a headline that you won't find here in the US:

http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2-2007070779,00.html

Muslim fanatic works on trains

A MUSLIM fanatic who dressed as a suicide bomber at a rally threatening terror attacks has got a job on TRAINS.
Sick Omar Khayam cleans carriages unsupervised for rail giant First Group.

And he has even got keys to onboard electrical cupboards.

Furious train drivers last night claimed the safety of staff and passengers is being put at risk.

One driver added: “It’s an astonishing security breach.

“We cannot believe this man is employed in a job giving him access to locked places on trains where bombs could be hidden and never be found.

“He has keys that could be passed on to others for the electrical cupboards in carriages. It is a risk too far.”

Convicted drugs dealer Khayam, 22, had been filmed dressed as a bomber at the controversial demonstration outside London’s Danish Embassy last year.

He wore a sinister camouflage outfit with a black vest.

Extremists around him — protesting at cartoons of the prophet Mohammed — waved placards supporting the 7/7 London bombings and calling for new UK terror attacks.

Khayam was sent back to prison after officials ruled he had broken the terms of his early release.

He was due to stay behind bars until August 2007 but was AGAIN released early.

He now works nights at First Group’s huge depot in Bedford. When challenged about his job, he said: “So what? I’ve not committed a crime. If there is a concern, that’s what the police are there for. That’s what security services are for.”
First Group runs trains to London from Cambridge, Bedford and Brighton, under the name First Capital Connect.

The scandal comes as 29 suspected terrorists go on trial in Madrid over train bombs that killed 191 rush-hour commuters nearly three years ago.

And just days ago a Muslim man who used the embassy demo to whip up race hate was warned he faces jail. Abdul Saleem, 31, was convicted of stirring up racial hatred. He will be sentenced in April. Last night First Group spokesman Robert Beahan said: “We are subject to UK employment law and carry out all necessary employment checks. The safety of customers and employees is our main priority.”

Here in the US, if you have any kind of criminal record, you can't work in transportation, either with the airlines or with the railroads. And this guy is a drug criminal... Go figure.

Another entertainer doesn't get it

2007-02-16T08:58:00.000-08:00

Another moron performer gets into the fray.

Ricky Martin Defends Obscene Gesture
Feb 16, 8:32 AM (ET)

SAN JUAN, Puerto Rico (AP) - Ricky Martin, who was a headliner at the 2001 inauguration ball for President George W. Bush, has a message for the American commander in chief about war.
At a recent concert, the 35-year-old singer stuck up his middle finger when he sang the president's name in his song "Asignatura Pendiente," which includes the words, "a photo with Bush." The gesture last Friday prompted cheers from thousands of fans in the San Juan stadium.
On Thursday, the Puerto Rican heartthrob repeated his criticism of the Iraq war and explained his changed position on Bush.
"My convictions of peace and life go beyond any government and political agenda and as long as I have a voice onstage and offstage, I will always condemn war and those who promulgate it," Martin said about his action in an e-mail statement sent to The Associated Press via a spokesman.
Martin, like other artists, has been highly critical of the war in Iraq.

I can see the headlines now: Dixie Chicks and Ricky Martin to tour together. Tour dates in Puerto Rico, Montreal, Habana, Caracas and Teheran. No US dates have been added due to lack of interest.

Toby Keith thrilled by extra open dates at US venues, his performances predicted to sell out.

Finally someone speaks the truth

2007-02-15T15:11:00.000-08:00

I've been a fan of Victor Davis Hanson from the moment that I heard him on the radio as a regular guest on one of the local talk shows. It was incredible how he provided so much clarity on the illegal immigration problem that we currently face.

I was recently surfing through his website and found something that he recently wrote that hits the nail on the head.

By closing the borders, the U.S. would stop subsidizing Mexican failure. At present, workers come to America not only because of higher wages, but also on the assumption that their cash income will often be untaxed and augmented by subsidized state health care, housing and education.

Tax evasion and American entitlement help to free up workers' dollars to be sent back to Mexico. In economic terms, that translates to the United States economy subsidizing millions of the unemployed in Mexico through $20 billion annually in cash remittances. This money weakens the incentive of millions in Mexico to seek employment or to demand government reform.

I was incredulous at this thought. It's the culmination of dozens of articles that I've read regarding remittances, the use of government services by illegals, and the problems with the Government of Mexico.

Now, if only Washington DC has the stones to implement such a plan.

Whole article here.

YHGTBSM 2/15/07

2007-02-15T08:14:00.000-08:00

I wonder sometimes about how stupid intelligent people can be. I see evidence of it almost every day.

For instance, take some of the laws being proposed right here in California: One law maker wants to completely ban the sale of incandescent light bulbs in the state in favor of compact florescent bulbs. What difference does it make? Not a hell of a lot, considering all of the other 47 states connected to the same power grid are just going to be using those incandescent bulbs. Besides, CFLs are a harsh light, not easy on the eyes. The electronics in the CFLs used to generate the high voltage and frequency used to make the arc inside the lamps make a lot of RF noise. So much that you can hear it on your AM radio.

I really like Nevada's idea regarding their state legislature. They meet for 6 months every 2 years, and the rest of the time the legislators are back home working as they should. When you have people that think their primary job is to make law, they will come up with anything to prove that they are doing their job, no matter how asinine or just flat stupid it might be.

Oh, the title means "You Have Got to be S**ting Me". You can figure it out from there.

I've got to post more.

2007-02-12T11:45:00.000-08:00

Well, the silly season has come and gone, and the asshats won with the willing complicity of the left-wing media machine and their lies. No wonder I just skip the alphabet soup and go straight to Fox News Channel without a second thought. I'm a straight white guy, but I KNOW that all you girls find Shepherd Smith to be dreamy.

I've got a new job since my last posting, which is one reason that I don't post that much. Instead of driving mail around, I'm driving kids around, and taking care of mail going between different DCFS offices and the court. I get to peek at some of the filings and it's depressed me a little bit, especially when I see things like "mother tested positive for (insert drug here) at the time of child's birth" or "(parent) in County Jail for (insert crime here) and (other parent) committed to CDC for (term) for (felony crime)". Some of the Social Workers and SW Aides wondered how I became jaded so quickly, knowing that the mother of this precious child that I've brought in for a visit isn't going to show, since she hasn't shown for the last 3 visits that I brought in in for.

The people that I work around are great, and they understand the hard time the everyone in Family Reunification has. We do a lot of different things as morale boosters, and we all share little goodies that we bring in for lunch and snacks. There's a cake decorating contest between the different units in the building on Valentine's day, with the winning unit getting a pizza lunch paid for by the morale committee.

I've about had it with all of the crap coming from the Left. Between the Open Borders idiots, the anti-gun Nazis, and the anti-war morons, it's a wonder that I haven't gone completely postal. These people have no concept of history, and no independent thought. They regurgitate the pablum that's fed to them by their commie handlers.

I say that we lock the borders down with a big-assed wall, round up every illegal alien, no matter where they're from or what color they are and ship them back from whence they came. Our lettuce won't cost $3/head, and Americans will have real jobs at real wages. Quality and safety will skyrocket, overall costs of living will go down, because we won't be paying for the leeches bleeding the welfare system dry, or forcing the rest of us to pay for their healthcare at the emergency room. No more "press 1 for English, oprima el 2 para Espanol" crap; if you can't speak English, LEARN!

Maybe we'll get a president in 2008 with a spine that will examine all of the thousands of gun laws and will actually get rid of many of them. One can hope, but I'm not holding my breath. I'm already planning on moving to the free state of Arizona from the People's Republic of Kalifornia. I've had it with all the stupid laws and regulations that keep me from buying something that is legal to buy and own in the 49 other states of the US.

Now to the war. It's starting to look like Vietnam already, with the politicians starting to micromanage the troops. We need to let the generals on the ground order up as many troops as they need, as many supplies, humvees, trucks, and guns as they need to WIN THE FUCKING WAR. They need to lock down the borders there, too, to keep the Iranians and Syrians from bringing the guns, bombs, RPGs and IEDs in to attack our troops.

The rules of engagement should be simple: If they aren't US military, US Civilian contractors, Iraqi police, or Iraqi military, and they have a gun out on the streets, they're fair game. Iraq isn't a stable place, and there you can't tell the bad guys from the good guys like you can in the US. Here, if you look like a gang-banger, and you have a gun, you're the bad guy. If you look like a normal clean-cut person, you're NOT the bad guy.

Either way, you should be able to have as many guns as you want in your house for self defense. Once you step outside, you'd better look like one of the good guys, or you're gonna get arrested or dead.

Some of you might say "well, why don't you go over there and do something?" Well, I have my application in at several different contractors specifically to go to the ME and help with the reconstruction efforts. I'm just waiting for them to call me. They have my number.

Countdown to stupidity.

2006-09-03T17:15:00.000-07:00

Well, we're deep into the silly season with just a shade over 2 months left until election day. The Sean Hannity Show has a daily countdown to the general election, and the campaign ads have been increasing in frequency on our local TV and radio channels.

I thought that I'd get my picks out of the way early so that you can print these out and take them to the ballot box if you're in California.

Candidates
Governor: Arnold Schwarzeneggar
Lt. Gov: Tom McClintock
Attorney General: Chuck Poochigian
SOS: Bruce McPherson
Insurance Commish: Steve Poizner
Controller: Tony Strickland
Treasurer: Claude Parrish
US Senate: Richard Mountjoy

Propositions - CA Secretary of State's Office
1A: Yes - Motor Vehicle Fuel Tax monies should be used for transportation, and nothing else
1B: Yes - I'm holding my nose and voting yes. I don't like bond issues, or anything that will raise my taxes, but the roads in California suck. Between 1A and 1B, this will begin to improve the overall infrastructure.
1C: No - Throwing money at housing is like throwing it away.
1D: No - How much more money will we throw at schools just to have it squandered? Every election, there's some kind of school bond act on the books, and people keep voting on them. The money in the last bond is never completely spent, and there's nothing but cost overruns by the contractors. Let's have a ballot measure that requires the contractors to complete the projects on time, and on budget, or suffer consequences like fines and penalties.
1E: Yes - This will provide money to fix our levee system here in the state. Last winter, we had all kinds of flooding problems and levee breaks along the San Joaquin and Sacramento rivers. Another severe winter like the last, with heavy snows, then above normal temps will cause more problems with runoff and flooding.
83: Yes - It's time to get serious about sexual predators.
84: No - This is the enviroweenie's version of 1E that has no real money for flood control and levee reconstruction.
85: Yes - Parents should know if their daughters are having dangerous, invasive medical procedures performed on them.
86: No - Not just no, but "HELL NO!" This is a punitive measure that punishes smokers. It will double the cost of a pack of cigarettes, just to send the money directly to hospital corporations.
87: No - Another "HELL NO!" Every enviroweenie group wants this just to punish the oil companies, and this is an attempt to do it. Every environmentalist nazi group has signed onto it, and every taxpayer advocacy, Farm Bureau, Public Safety and many local goverment groups are opposing it.
88: No - No more property taxes. Period.
89: No - Political contributions are free speech. Don't restrict free speech, or make elections more complicated than thy already are.
90: Yes - This will prevent government agencies from using eminent domain to seize private property to give it to another private company. It will severely restrict the uses of eminent domain.

These are my own choices. I'd advise you to read and make your own choices.

I'm Smokey Behr, and I approve of this post.

Another Fresh Hell

2006-09-02T14:39:00.000-07:00

It’s another day of bliss here at the "other job" which is turning out to be a bitchfest between myself and my usual Saturday morning shiftmate. She and I are two of four left of the original 16 partners that opened the store in December 2003. We've gone through 4 different managers: The first was fired for yelling at customers. The second left to have her third child. The third left to open a store in one of the best neighborhoods in town.

Then there's this one. She came from a competitor's store where she was an assistant manager before that store closed. She became the manager of a kiosk store that was built in the center of the busiest mall in town. She refers to that store as "(blended drink) hell", which I can completely understand, since the average age of the people on that mall is somewhere around 15. Well, she came to our store, which is a regular store, with retail and everything, except a drive-thru, about 6 months ago.

We've had nothing but trouble since the day arrived. She probably felt threatened by the previous manager, since we all loved her, and everything was running really smoothly when the transition happened. Then she alienated several regular customers with some of the things that she said. Then we began to consistently run short of everything, which forced us to have to call other stores for stock, which was a change, since we usually had plenty of extra for our store and the stores around us. Then she began running off partners. We have had a HUGE churn in partners here, mostly the new hires and transfers. I've seen almost 2 dozen partners cycle through this store in the time that manager 4 has been here. Some of them last a couple of months, some a couple of weeks, and some just a couple of days. We've lost 2 partners in the last week, and one called in "sick" (morning sickness) and we've been scrambling to get coverage for the 2 shifts that are left empty. Instead of working my 5 hours and going home, I'm pulling at least 7.5, which isn't all that bad, because it's an extra couple of bucks, but it cuts into my naptime :@)

It's getting so bad here that I've already typed up my 2 weeks notice letter. All I have to do is add the date, print it out, and I'm done. Hopefully things will get better, and I won't have to drop that bomb.

Out of the rat race, at least for a moment.

2006-08-12T11:18:00.000-07:00

Well, I'm taking a little break from work and life at the coast. I'm here in beautiful Morro Bay, CA, (known where I'm from as the Portagee Riviera) enjoying the cool weather and good seafood and steaks. I'll be doing a little shopping, too. I'll get back to my regular life in a few days.

Spandex is a privilege, not a right

2006-08-10T12:55:00.000-07:00

Ladies:

It's time to change your wardrobe. Wearing clothes that are 3 sizes too small is disgusting, no matter what size you are. Buy clothes that fit. Seeing your tits squeezing over the top of your bra is not sexy. Seeing the crack of your ass is not sexy. Seeing the stretch marks on your belly and love handles from the half-dozen kids you have in tow is not sexy.

Guys, same thing goes for you. If you have to pull your pants up all the time, buy a belt, or get them in the right size. If you are a 5' 6" and 120# guy, those 40" pants and XXXL shirts are the WRONG size. Remember, that baggy clothes thing comes from prison, where they don't always have clothes that fit you when you are in-processed. Another note: In prison, when you wear your pants with your chonies showing, it means you're looking to be someone's bitch. Whose bitch do you want to be?

Speaking of kids, how tough is it to make sure that they are in clean clothes with clean faces when you take them out in public. It's not that hard to keep a packet of wipes in your purse with all of the other crap. It's not that hard to make sure that the laundry is actually clean before you put it away. Remember, follow the instructions on the washer, and don't overload it to make sure you get all the dirt out. Soap and bleach are cheap, especially when you go to the 99 cent store to buy it.

Don't look filthy, don't act filthy, and you won't get treated like shit.

An open letter to the Dixie Chicks

2006-08-08T12:47:00.000-07:00

Dear Dixie Chicks:
I heard on the news today that you are having to cancel many of your tour dates because of slow ticket sales. Sorry to hear that. Not really. You made your bed when you pissed off your fan base by making comments about our president. It really wasn't just that, but the fact that you went offshore to make the statement. You didn't have the ovaries to make the comment here in the US because you knew what kind of reaction you would get.

Then you go and cut another album, and the first released single is "Not Ready to Make Nice". Maybe you should have rethought that. Until you actually do go and make nice, you can expect to have the same kind of album sales and show ticket sales here in the US. In fact, you might as well take your act to Montreal, and set up shop there, since they really like you and your politics there.

I'd recommend that you take your cues from Toby Keith: "We'll put a boot in your ass, it's the American Way..."

Sincerely, Smokey

A few on-topic random thoughts

2006-07-13T12:19:00.000-07:00

As I sit here in Downtown Fresno listening to the scanner and the HT, monitoring every imaginable fire frequency used in the Central San Joaquin Valley, I look up and see the pall of smoke from the Canyon Fire stretching from the northern horizon around to the west, and finally dispersing slightly overhead. I hear on the broadcast radio that the Canyon Fire has
gone to 24k acres in just 4 days, and the PIO says there's no end in sight due to the "steep terrain, erratic winds, and lack of resources". I remember William LaJeunesse on Fox News last night with smoke and glow from the Sawtooth Complex talking about basically the same thing. I read the morning report, and see that over 2600 people are on the Sawtooth, Millard and Canyon incidents.

Then I begin to wonder: Why haven't I heard the OES equipment being staffed and assembled into strike teams from MAR V? Why haven't I been called to see if I'm available to go out on a strike team assignment (not that is matters, 'cause I'm not)? What about all the other full-time and paid-call firefighters that are available to work? Why is there a "staffing problem" when there are plenty of firefighters that can be called back to work to staff reserve equipment to form up local government strike teams to go to the fires?

Another peeve of mine is that overhead positions that could be filled by qualified volunteers and paid-call staff are going UTF (Unable to Fill) because of the firefighters' unions bitching about it. I'm a CSFA member, just like they are; I get paid by the state, just like the rest of CDF does.
Why should needed positions go unfilled at all, when there are plenty of qualified people available in the Paid-Call and Volunteer ranks? Why can't we even get the training we want to even get us available to be trainees?

I hate politicians.

2006-05-30T19:23:00.000-07:00

Once again, it's the stupid season. I'm getting more shit in my mailbox than a high school english teacher during homecoming week. Everyone is sending me crap about how to vote. Vote for this candidate, vote for that candidate... fuck it. I get it from both sides, even though it's a primary election. As a member of 2 different unions, I get their shit. As a registered Republican, I get all of the Republican-related groups sending me crap. One union is all over one candidate and the other, of course, is for the other; neither of them is the GOP candidate.

Fuck. I can't wait until November.

Shot heard 'round the border

2006-01-02T22:49:00.000-08:00

I made a post to a few of the many lists that I belong to regarding the arrest of illegal immigrants along the border a while back, and it's kind of amazing where you can find your words end up.

It's not the first time that I've written something that's had fairly wide distribution, so I'm not completely surprised. I also asked to have this post widely distributed. What I didn't expect was to see it popping up just about everywhere in the anti-illegal immigration community.

Since what I wrote was basically for California, and not for other states, I'm going to have to do a little research regarding citizens' arrest in other states along the border. I'll post what I find either here, or to those other lists.

Have you read, and do you understand the course of fire?

2005-10-05T12:44:00.000-07:00

I'm bouncing off the walls wanting to go out and play with my new toy. A couple of weeks ago, I picked up a new OD Green Glock 17, and I haven't been to the range to shoot it. I used to shoot USPSA, but it's been about 8 years since I did that, and I need to start up again. I used to be pretty good, but I don't know how good I am because it's been so long. I need to at least punch holes in paper at the indoor range for a couple of hours one day, to get the feel of this gun. I'm also going to start the CCW paperwork, too. Luckily, I live in a county where the Sheriff will issue a permit to anyone with a pulse and a good reason, which helps keep the crime rate way down.

I'll give a report after I get to the range, which should be Sunday, since Saturday I'll be out with the guys watching trains in the morning, and at the Sean Hannity "Hannitized for your Protection" Tour stop in Fresno at the Saroyan Theater. I've got front row seats, so I should be able to get some good pictures, which I'll share with everyone.

At least they wipe (most of the time)

2005-10-01T15:01:00.000-07:00

My office is downtown, so invariably there the usual assortment of urban campers (homeless) people running around scavenging cans, bottles, and cardboard. They also set up camp in any semi-secluded spot they can.

One of the major problems is that there is a lack of public restrooms in the area. This leads to the bums dropping trou and relieving themselves wherever they can. Most of the time this is in an alcoveoff the alley that contains the back door to one of the businesses. This leads to the "bumstripe" of runny s**t where they have balanced their ass against the wall and let fly. Needless to say, this is rather disgusting, and rarely gets cleaned up, leaving a fly attractant and general disgusting smell. It's bad enough that there's the stench of rotting food coming from the dumpsters, but the added aroma of feces and urine jus makes it that much worse.

All this standing by is making my feet hurt

2005-09-22T15:53:00.000-07:00

Well, nothing materialized out of the Katrina stand-by, but now we're waiting for the call on Rita. FEMA and NIFC have mobilized a half-dozen incident command teams for Rita, in addition to the nearly 2 dozen teams mobilized for Katrina. You'd think that they would need as much comm support as possible staged, since the comms pretty much turned to shit after the levees broke in N.O.

Two strike teams of ambulances (that's 10 ambulances for you non-fire types) including 3 supervisory vehicles went blazing through town going Code 3 (lights and siren) headed from Sacramento to Houston. As I put it on one of the Yahoo!Groups, they've got a long way to go, and a short time to get there. I heard that Riverside County and L.A. County are assembling their USAR (Urban Search and Rescue) teams for deployment. Everything from the West is most likely staging in San Antonio, since that's far enough out of the major winds to be safe.

I found out that I can get vacation time donated to me if I get deployed, instead of burning up my own time, so I'll probably put Susan to work on that in case I get the call. Being a courier for the county is nice, because I've made so many friends that I could get a couple months worth of donations from all the people willing to donate a day here and a day there.

Heads Up

2005-08-31T19:58:00.000-07:00

Among many of the things that I do, besides everything you see below, I volunteer with the California Office of Emergency Services in their Auxiliary Communications Service. I got an email in my box when I got home from work about a possible deployment to the Hurricane Katrina disaster area as a Communications Tech. If this happens, I'll be posting pictures, and whatever else I can think of here.

Get in, Sit down, Shut up, and Hold on.

2004-07-22T20:10:00.000-07:00

I thought that it would be important to put a few of my rants somewhere instead of just having them rattle around in my head. In this space you'll see me rant about the people that I see or meet or deal with throughout the day.

First a little background about me:
I'm a 36-year old white guy living in Central California. I split my living time between my parent's house and my girlfriend's condo. I'm a computer geek, a firefighter, a Starbucks Barista, and a messenger for the County of Fresno (now you know why I'll have a lot of things to talk about).

I have my own internet radio station that I run with some friends. I have the hardware end of it, which makes me the Chief Engineer and Assistant Program Director, and soon to be On-Air Talent. If you want to listen to it, just go to http://www.radionosferatu.com and click "jack in".

I'm a paid-call firefighter, which means that I get paid for the calls that I go out on when my pager goes off, even at 3 o'clock in the morning.

Yes, I work for Starbucks, which is the Evil Coffee Corporation to most people. It's a fun job, and the partner benefits are a really good thing. I'll go into those later.

Last, but not least, I'm one of the Messengers for the County of Fresno. This is where a LOT of my rants will come from, because of what I see every day.

"Fasten your seatbelts, it's going to be a bumpy night"